“It is confusing to be in a world without her … a world I have never known.”
These words were posted by a friend who just lost her mother. They spoke directly to my heart, as I felt exactly the same way when my mother died. Your mother is the one who has been with you since conception. When she leaves, the world becomes an alien landscape until your mind and heart accept the reality of the new world that her passing creates.
This is often how we feel when a loved one dies. Losing a spouse, a child, a dear friend, a sibling, etc. can make you look around and not recognize your surroundings for a while.
We can also feel this way right after moving to a new town, losing a job, getting a divorce, watching a child go off to college, or when there is a sudden change at work. Time, support, prayers, and patience will help you adjust, but in the interim, where can you go to ground yourself?
You can go to the One who created all things.
Psalm 118 describes the joy the psalmist (possibly King David) felt when he walked through the gates of the city of Jerusalem. He had passed through an ever-changing landscape as he traveled in foreign lands during his pilgrimage. He was comforted by the unchanging nature of Jerusalem. He recounted the many things God had done for him, thanking God for answering him and for being his “saving help”:
Psalm 118 (Common English Bible)
19 Open the gates of righteousness for me
so I can come in and give thanks to the Lord!
20 This is the Lord’s gate;
those who are righteous enter through it.
21 I thank you because you answered me,
because you were my saving help.
The passage takes an interesting twist here. This is the Psalm that Jesus quoted in Matthew 21:42 just after he, too, had made his way into Jerusalem. It happened on the day after “Palm Sunday,” which was Jesus’ triumphal entry into the city as the Messiah. Like Jacob, Joseph, and David before him, Jesus is the “stone rejected by the builders” that has now become the “main foundation stone.”
22 The stone rejected by the builders
is now the main foundation stone!
23 This has happened because of the Lord;
it is astounding in our sight!
24 This is the day the Lord acted;
we will rejoice and celebrate in it!
While offering God his praises and accolades, the psalmist suddenly shifts gears and cries out to be saved and asks for God to ensure success:
25 Lord, please save us!
Lord, please let us succeed!
That is how loss feels at times. We are aware of our blessings, but we can suddenly become acutely aware of our loss, often without warning. That is the time to stop, breathe, and call out to God to come save you from your sorrow.
26 The one who enters in the Lord’s name is blessed;
we bless all of you from the Lord’s house.
27 The Lord is God!
He has shined a light on us!
So lead the festival offering with ropes
all the way to the horns of the altar.
So when you find yourself in a foreign land, take heart. You can enter the Lord’s house in the Lord’s name and you will be blessed. There you will find comfort, familiarity, consistency, and hope. God will shine a light on your confusion and hold you until you feel better.
28 You are my God—I will give thanks to you!
You are my God—I will lift you up high!
29 Give thanks to the Lord because he is good,
because his faithful love lasts forever.
Amen, and amen.