I am sure I’m not alone in regretting making a promise I wish I had never made. From the very beginning I knew what was being asked of me was wrong, but I let someone’s panic sway me into saying yes. A woman in my church was deeply concerned that her frail best friend had a significant eating disorder and begged me, as their pastor, to intervene and address it. I suggested that she, as the friend, should be the one to do this but she nagged and persisted, saying that it was my job as well. This was absolutely wrong, by the way, but I was young and impulsive and truly thought I could help, so I promised to address it when there was an appropriate opening. 

I chose to write a loving note of concern to the woman after she came into church one Sunday with a hairline fracture of her pelvis due to over-exercise and running. I bet you can finish the story. The woman was so offended by my “kind intervention” that she never returned to church again. I never should have promised the friend that I would help, and I regret that rash decision to this day.

I love how the book of Proverbs addresses the foibles and potholes of life in wise, concise sentences. Today’s passage is no exception. As all proverbs do, it hits home the practical lesson of not making rash vows before careful consideration. People do things and make plans, but God guides our steps according to God’s will and wisdom, which should be a humbling reminder to consult God first before making any bold moves. We aren’t in control, so why do we act like we are? Yet we often respond to things out of our emotions rather than our thoughtful reflections, and that doesn’t bode well for us. As it says in Ecclesiastes 5:4-5, “When you make a promise to God, fulfill it without delay because God has no pleasure in fools. Fulfill what you promise. ⁵ Better not to make a promise than to make a promise without fulfilling it.” 

Proverbs 20 (Common English Bible)

A person’s steps are from the Lord;
    how then can people understand their path?
²⁵ It is a snare to say rashly, “It is holy,”
    and only reflect after making the promise.

This passage teaches us three things. First, don’t be quick to make a vow or promise. Second, be serious about the ones that you make. And third, regard any broken vow or promise as something to be confessed and repented. We are reminded to be wise and consider God’s plans before we jump into something we can’t or shouldn’t fulfill. 

Have you broken a vow? Is there an unfulfilled promise that needs your attention? Are you contemplating something that requires more reflection before you say something? Stop. Slow down. Listen to God’s wise counsel. God will never let you down.

Stop and Smell the Lily