pray for your enemies

Loving Unlovables

Posted on by Betsy

A friend recently shared a problem she is having with a family member. After recounting several upsetting incidents that have occurred over the course of many years, she looked across the dinner table and said, “I know I should be praying for her, because we’re supposed to pray for our enemies, but frankly, I think I’d rather cut off my arm!” We collapsed into a fit of giggles that embarrassed our husbands and then tackled the issues of 1. how difficult it is to pray for people who have been deliberately hurtful to us, and 2. the difficulty of trying to wash your hair or fold a fitted bed sheet with only one arm. I can’t do it with two.

Let’s take a look at that scripture in its entirety and see if we can’t find a way to comply with one of Jesus’ harder commandments, and help my friend keep her arm intact:

Matthew 5:43-48 (New International Version )

Love for Enemies

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

In the broader context, Jesus is making an imprint on his new and very radical theology of how the people of God are to behave. From the first sentence, he is righting the wrong of the old way, by reversing how we are to treat enemies. Love, not hate, is the new way.

But the point of this radicalism comes in the next sentence: pray for those who persecute you so that YOU may be children of your Father in heaven. Did you notice that the instruction to pray is not so that your enemy might be changed? No indeed, the point of this prayer is so that YOU might be changed.

God brings the warmth of the sun and the replenishing rains to provide for the good and the evil alike. This is a reminder to us that God sees potential for change in everyone. He has always been in the saving and transformation business. How easy it would be for him to simply cast out the unrighteous, but instead he includes them into his kingdom by holding the door of repentance wide open.

Being good to your friends and hanging out with your own kind is something non-believers do with great ease. There has to be a difference between those who follow Christ and those who don’t. So what Jesus is saying here is that we are not to be like others around us, but we are to be like him in everything we do. We are called to love unconditionally, forgive without hesitation, encourage and build one another up, and be patient and long-suffering when need be.

I shared with my friend that I had a person who was extremely critical of me, and publicly so, at the very beginning of my ministry. Her words and her actions were devastating and caused me great pain. I confided to an elder church member about it, and he calmly reminded me to “pray for my enemies.” And so I did, for three solid years. I prayed she would be blessed, whole, and healthy. Some days I prayed that I wouldn’t see her at church, because every time I saw her, I had to greet her with a kindness I didn’t always feel. Other days I prayed she would receive me differently, and that maybe we would someday be friends. I just prayed.

One day we found each other in the church on a Saturday when volunteers had gathered to do some work. She was on a ladder and saw me walking down the aisle of the sanctuary. She called out to me and asked if we could talk. In tears, she asked me to forgive her for those words she had spoken many years ago and told me how much she appreciated that I had been civil to her even though she had hurt me.

I told her that I had forgiven her a long time ago, and as those words came out of my mouth, I realized that in all of those years of “praying for my enemy,” my prayers hadn’t changed the situation, but it definitely changed ME.

Prayer changes us. Prayer opens us, helps us to let go of stuff, reminds us that the stuff is really God’s anyway, and allows us to be the face of Jesus to the enemy. My friend may never have reconciliation with her family member, but by praying without ceasing for them, she is sure to receive peace and release.

And keep her arm.

Peace and Release by Kathy Schumacher

Venting

Posted on by Betsy

Are you old enough to remember a time when the “comments section” didn’t exist? Believe it or not, there once was a period of civility when commenting on everything wasn’t a thing. If you had a beef about something that had been written, you could write a letter to the editor. That was your only chance to be heard if it was published, which was often days or weeks after the article had been published. Now, every type of media offers a comment section, and many people go straight to the comments rather than read the article. Opinion now overrules fact-based reporting in most mainstream media.

Social media gave birth to this kind of “venting,” offering a public forum for unchecked negativity, whining, and accusations. I can remember when my hometown newspaper offered a new column called “The Vent” and I was dismayed one day to read an anonymous attack on my church. We were involved in a huge building campaign that included moving our campus to a 63 acre plot of land. The neighbors near that location vented loudly about our plan, and one wrote about the nefarious and questionable intentions of “Pastor Chuck Charming” (our senior pastor) and “Estelle from the Estates” (which would be me, as I lived in a neighborhood called Bradford Estates). We were accused of seeking fame and glory by building a huge megachurch just to satisfy our overblown egos. As if!

Today’s psalm includes venting but offers a beautiful example of how to vent well. This psalm of David came after he had been harshly attacked by his enemies, and David teaches us the perfect way to respond to accusers: In his words, “they accuse me—but I am at prayer.”

Psalm 109 (Common English Bible)

God of my praise, don’t keep quiet,
2     because the mouths of wicked liars
    have opened up against me,
    talking about me with lying tongues.
3 Hateful words surround me;
    they attack me for no reason.
4 Instead of returning my love, they accuse me—
    but I am at prayer.
5 They repay me evil for good,
    hatred in return for my love.

“I am at prayer.” Just pause for moment and think about how much better the world would be if anger, disappointment, false accusations, and outright hatred would be answered not in inflammatory retorts that escalate the situation, but by the falsely accused turning quietly to prayer instead of retaliation. What if the comments sections ceased to exist all together?

6 “Appoint a wicked person to be against this person,” they say,
    “an accuser to stand right next to him.
7 When the sentence is passed, let him be found guilty—
    let his prayer be found sinful!

David shows us a better way. He turned to God for vengeance against his enemies. David surely knew how to act on his need for justice and had the skill and courage to defend himself. But he turned to prayer instead and asked God to help, not based on his own righteousness but based on God’s faithful love and mercy for him.

26 Help me, Lord my God!
    Save me according to your faithful love!
27 And let them know that this is by your hand—
    that you have done it, Lord!
28 Let them curse—but you, bless me!
    If they rise up, let them be disgraced,
        but let your servant celebrate!
29 Let my accusers be dressed in shame;
    let them wear their disgrace like a coat.

How do you deal with your enemies? Do you publicly curse them or privately pray for them? Jesus made it clear that we are to pray for our enemies and allow God to have vengeance on our behalf. Venting to God is the only way to vent and we can be assured that God stands right next to us in our distress. So next time you are attacked, take it to the Lord in prayer.

30 But I will give great thanks to the Lord with my mouth;
    among a great crowd I will praise God!
31 Because God stands right next to the needy,
    to save them from any who would condemn them.

Bloom in Love by Becca Ziegler

Safe Place

Posted on by Betsy

I had a conversation with a young friend recently about the Scripture that tells us to pray for our enemies. We have all struggled with that, I am sure. I once was challenged by this Scripture to pray for someone who had deeply hurt me. To be honest, praying for her was about the last thing I wanted to do. Vent, whine, complain, or stick a hot poker in my right eye, yes. But praying for her was an act of obedience that was very challenging for me. Boy, that was tough! At first my prayers sounded more like, “Lord, please don’t let me see her today. Amen.” But I knew more was expected of me than that anemic, pitiful, faith-deprived plea, so I began to pray that she would be blessed. Eventually I prayed in earnest for her well-being, her family, and her marriage. Before I knew it, I really meant it.

You see, prayer didn’t really change her. It changed me.

In our passage from Psalm 9 today, David praised God for his wonderful acts. I love how he thanked God “will all his heart.” I was reminded of my last trip to Israel where I watched Israeli Jews praying at the Wailing Wall. Jewish prayers are a whole-body experience! They bowed up and down from the waist, hands clasped around their phylacteries, heads bobbing, and saying their prayers out loud. You could see that they meant it with their whole heart.

David gave God all the glory for bringing justice to the world. God ruled from his throne and dealt with the nations who were tearing down Israels’s cities and bringing wickedness and evil to Zion.

Psalm 9:1-12
I will thank you, Lord, with all my heart;
    I will talk about all your wonderful acts.
2 I will celebrate and rejoice in you;
    I will sing praises to your name, Most High.

3 When my enemies turn and retreat,
    they fall down and die right in front of you
4     because you have established justice
        for me and my claim,
    because you rule from the throne,
        establishing justice rightly.

5 You’ve denounced the nations,
    destroyed the wicked.
    You’ve erased their names for all time.
6 Every enemy is wiped out,
    like something ruined forever.
You’ve torn down their cities—
    even the memory of them is dead.

God’s rule is everlasting, and those who try to destroy God’s people will be dealt with in the end. Our God is a place of safety for us when we are oppressed by our enemies. When I was praying for my enemy, I was putting myself directly that place of safety at God’s feet. When times are difficult, we know that we are not abandoned by the one who will judge all people fairly. Having a “heart for the Lord” made David able to see God’s mighty acts even in the bloodshed around him. As you pray for your enemies, can you see what God is doing?

7 But the Lord rules forever!
    He assumes his throne
    for the sake of justice.
8 He will establish justice in the world rightly;
    he will judge all people fairly.
9 The Lord is a safe place for the oppressed—
    a safe place in difficult times.
10 Those who know your name trust you
    because you have not abandoned
    any who seek you, Lord.

11 Sing praises to the Lord, who lives in Zion!
    Proclaim his mighty acts among all people!
12 Because the one who avenges bloodshed
    remembers those who suffer;
    the Lord hasn’t forgotten their cries for help.

Sometimes we are called to simply pray for our enemies and walk away. Sometimes were are called to stand aside and watch what God does. In both cases, we are assured that God never forgets our cries for help and will always be found by those who seek the Lord.

Are you dealing with an enemy right now? Is God waiting for you to step away so that you can kneel and spend your time in prayer? Do you trust God the way David did, knowing that God establishes justice rightly?

Remember to sing praises while you wait.

Mystic Morning by Michelle Robertson