practice real love

You Made it Disappear

Posted on by Betsy

Have you ever lain awake at night with your mind spinning over an insult or rejection? I sure have. I wish I was as strong as I apparently look when it comes to taking hits from people who are displeased with me. If you are a people pleaser, you know what I’m talking about. It is hard to come to the reality that someone simply doesn’t like you if you are that type of person. People pleasers suffer from any kind of rejection and the pain of a direct assault can last for months. Truth be told, part of the problem is that we keep poking at the injury like a sore spot in your mouth that you just can’t stop touching with your tongue. If you are also a people pleaser, my prayers go out to you! Sometimes I just wish I didn’t care so much.

The flip side of this personality type is that because we do care, we often feel and respond to other people’s pain in an effort to mitigate their suffering. I bet if you put people pleasers in a room, you would find that they volunteer in care ministries in their churches, donate to the food pantry, go on mission trips, and extend Christ ‘s compassion to hurting people in the world. So here’s a thought, people pleasers: When you’re sleepless over an injury get up and do something good for someone. That will mitigate your own pain, too.

Our Scripture today talks about practicing real love. It succinctly makes a connection between Christ’s sacrifice for us and how we are called to live sacrificially for others. In our Message translation, Eugene Peterson contends that when we see a need and do nothing, God’s love disappears, and we are the ones who made it disappear.

1 John 3:16-24

16-17 This is how we’ve come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves. If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God’s love? It disappears. And you made it disappear.

This should be something we practice daily in everything we do. When you post negative things about someone on social media, you are making God’s love disappear. When you speak out with anger when you could have held your tongue, you make God’s love disappear. When a disagreement causes you to leave a relationship and you burn the house down on your way out, you make God’s love disappear.

When We Practice Real Love

18-20 My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

When people pleasers like me get attacked, it’s not just the initial injury that keeps us awake. It is our incessant need to review the situation over and over and over again, criticizing our own actions and condemning our behavior. Our worried hearts get stuck on replay, and even when we try to repair the relationship, we fail to shut down the internal turmoil that the bad encounter has brought. It is hard for us to accept that there are some people and situations where resolution isn’t possible, and truthfully, the other party doesn’t care. They have moved on to criticize someone else while we allow them to live rent free in our heads.

That’s when it’s time to let go and give it over to God. God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

21-24 And friends, once that’s taken care of and we’re no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we’re bold and free before God! We’re able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we’re doing what he said, doing what pleases him. Again, this is God’s command: to believe in his personally named Son, Jesus Christ. He told us to love each other, in line with the original command. As we keep his commands, we live deeply and surely in him, and he lives in us. And this is how we experience his deep and abiding presence in us: by the Spirit he gave us.

This last section is the real goal for everyone, people pleasers or not. God invites us to please him, not others. He invites us to love one another, keep his commands, live deeply and surely in him, and experience his abiding is us through the Sprit that he gave on. So if you are still feeling the sting of someone’s negativity, let it go.

God has set you free.

Bold and Set Free by Michelle Robertson

Walk What You Talk

Posted on by Betsy

We’ve all heard the phrase “Practice what you preach.” That ranks up there with “Walk the walk and talk the talk.” These phrases have always struck me as backwards. What would it mean to preach what you practice and walk what you talk?

That puts the burden on you to authentically live out your Jesus-called life based on standards that will preach. That puts action before words. That puts do over hear. That’s a pretty good challenge, wouldn’t you agree? How are you doing with that? Are you more walk, or talk? More preach, or practice?

In yet another instance of Jesus vs. the Pharisees, we see Sassy Jesus enter the ring with his boxing gloves on. The crowd has gathered and is breathlessly waiting for the first verbal punch to be thrown. Ding ding!

Jesus does not disappoint.

Matthew 22 (Common English Bible)

Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and his disciples, 2 “The legal experts and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat. 3 Therefore, you must take care to do everything they say. But don’t do what they do. 4 For they tie together heavy packs that are impossible to carry. They put them on the shoulders of others, but are unwilling to lift a finger to move them.5 Everything they do, they do to be noticed by others. They make extra-wide prayer bands for their arms and long tassels for their clothes. 6 They love to sit in places of honor at banquets and in the synagogues. 7 They love to be greeted with honor in the markets and to be addressed as ‘Rabbi.’

“But don’t do what they do.” Upper-cut! “They are unwilling to lift a finger.” Jab! “They only do things to be noticed by others.” Right cross! “They love to sit in places of honor.” Left hook!

Time is called, and Jesus and The Pharisee return to their respective corners. From there, Jesus turns his head to address the crowd again:

8 “But you shouldn’t be called Rabbi, because you have one teacher, and all of you are brothers and sisters. 9 Don’t call anybody on earth your father, because you have one Father, who is heavenly. 10 Don’t be called teacher, because Christ is your one teacher.

At this point the medic has been called to check on The Pharisee.

 11 But the one who is greatest among you will be your servant. 12 All who lift themselves up will be brought low.

Knock out!

But all who make themselves low will be lifted up.

Ding, ding, ding! The first round goes to Jesus. Of course we know that his boxing matches with the Pharisees will continue for many more rounds, just as our own struggles continue as we fight to turn our self-interest and pride into humble service and tangible action.

Our challenge today is to be genuine in love, humble in service, gracious in the face of hostility, and real in our approach to our neighbors … even when they are throwing punches at us.

So glove up! Let’s show the world that we are Team Jesus.

Squawk the Squawk by Michelle Robertson

True Love

Posted on by Betsy

At what point in your life do you think you really began to understand love? Love is introduced to us by our parents, if we have good ones. The love of family is a foundation upon which children grow in their understanding of love. But a child’s love is selfish and limited. It isn’t what it will be when they mature.

Now think about the first time you thought you were “in love.” Maybe you ended up with that person, or maybe that was just a test run for the real thing when it came along.

Loving someone in a long term, committed relationship probably comes closer to the real thing. I have been tremendously blessed to be totally in love with the same guy for over 40 years. And as good as that is, there is another love that I have experienced that is closer yet to true love…when I became a mother.

Parental love is sacrificial, whole-hearted, life-long, and often exhausting. You never stop worrying about your children and you know you would do anything for their happiness.

Parental love is what God feels for you. You are his blessed child, and he would do anything for your happiness…even send his only son to die on a cross for you. His love for you is true love.

1 John 3 (The Message)

16-17 This is how we’ve come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves. If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God’s love? It disappears. And you made it disappear.

Love is real when it is given away without any thought of recompense, return, or cost. Love is real when someone else’s needs trump your own. Love is real when it looks like Jesus.

When We Practice Real Love

18-20 My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

John challenges us to practice REAL LOVE by giving ourselves away just as Jesus gave himself. Just talking about love won’t cut it. Doing love-in-action is the true measure of our love for Jesus. When you live sacrificially for those around you, you are truly living in God’s reality.

21-24 And friends, once that’s taken care of and we’re no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we’re bold and free before God! We’re able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we’re doing what he said, doing what pleases him. Again, this is God’s command: to believe in his personally named Son, Jesus Christ. He told us to love each other, in line with the original command.

When we commit acts of love in Jesus’ name, we are doing what pleases him. He told us to love one another. This is his greatest command.

As we keep his commands, we live deeply and surely in him, and he lives in us. And this is how we experience his deep and abiding presence in us: by the Spirit he gave us.

So go out today and commit an act of true, unconditional, and sacrificial love for someone who needs love. Just as you live deeply in Jesus, so he lives in you. Go and be Jesus today!

Love in Bloom