mean what you say

Pants on Fire

Posted on by Betsy

Do you remember the late 1990’s movie called Liar, Liar? Jim Carrey starred as pathological liar Fletcher Reede, a divorced defense attorney with a young son named Max. Reede is incapable of telling the truth and frequently makes false promises to Max and then lies about why he had to break them. Each lie is followed by his manipulative cries of “I swear it’s the truth!” Reede misses Max’s 5th birthday party and of course lies about the reason. Max then makes a special wish as he blows out his birthday cake candles, wishing that his father would be forced to only tell the truth for 24 hours. Hilarity ensues as Reede goes to court for a high profile case and cannot lie for the first time in his career. The movie ends with Reede and his ex-wife reuniting with a new relationship that is grounded in honesty.

Jesus addressed the law concerning oaths and our tendency to make insincere vows in today’s reading. People had tried to find a loophole around swearing directly on God’s name by swearing instead on the name of heaven, earth, Jerusalem, or even their own heads. Somehow they felt that these oaths would be less binding and could be more easily broken. Jesus assured them that they were wrong.

Matthew 5 (Common English Bible)

33 “Again you have heard that it was said to those who lived long ago: Don’t make a false solemn pledge, but you should follow through on what you have pledged to the Lord. 34 But I say to you that you must not pledge at all. You must not pledge by heaven, because it’s God’s throne. 35 You must not pledge by the earth, because it’s God’s footstool. You must not pledge by Jerusalem, because it’s the city of the great king. 36 And you must not pledge by your head, because you can’t turn one hair white or black. 37 Let your yes mean yes, and your no mean no. Anything more than this comes from the evil one.

At the heart of his message was the need for complete honesty. As one without sin who never lied, Jesus was the epitome of everyday honesty, accountability, and integrity in truth-telling. Swearing oaths would not be necessary if our words were trustworthy, true, and unshakable. Indeed, having to swear on something betrays a certain weakness, demonstrating that the veracity of our word won’t hold up under scrutiny. There is a credibility gap between what we say and what we do. Swearing won’t make a difference if our intention is to break the vow anyway.

This isn’t a tirade against oath taking, per se. God swore oaths. Jesus spoke under oath in court. Paul made several oaths. We are invited to make vows that demonstrate our complete commitment and intention. Jesus was warning against making flippant, insincere, manipulative promises that we have no intention of keeping. Better to make no oaths at all than to do that, says our Lord. “Let your yes be yes and your no be no” (verse 37).

We are taught to “say what you mean and mean what you say.” If we can’t be people of our word, there is no hope for spreading the Word. We need to mean everything we say about the goodness of God and the power of the Gospel in our lives. When we lie, that power is diluted in the eyes of the world. Is your “yes” a true “yes?” Say yes to God.

Say Yes by Michelle Robertson

I SAID dNO!

Posted on by Betsy

Nora Jean is one feisty chick. She comes by it honestly, as she is the progeny of a whole line of feisty chicks. Take her grandmothers, for instance. A super-energized nurse who raised three kids while her husband flew for the Navy, and then the airlines. The other grandmother is a super-energized chick pastor, who raised two kids while her husband flew for the Navy, and then the airlines. (That is not a typo. Both grandfathers are Navy/Airline pilots. Imagine the odds of THAT happening!)

And then there is her mother, the feistiest of the feisty-clan. SHE kicked cancer, danced in a 46-hour marathon 9 months after her last chemo, got two degrees, and is raising three kids while her husband flies for the Navy….oh Nora Jean, you are surrounded.

So it is absolutely no surprise that at age two, Nora J can express herself with great clarity. They took her and her less-feisty brothers to a restaurant called The T-Rex Cafe. T-Rex is a bigger-than-life venue of pre-historic trees and vines, loud animal noises, dark spaces, and oh, yes…a ginormous T-Rex and his friends. Nope, said Nora. Nope, nope, nope, and if you didn’t get my meaning, let my shrieking do the talkin’. So without even sitting down, they exited.

Oh, but wait! Nearby is the much gentler Rain Forest Cafe, with quiet waterfalls, monkey sounds, and lush foliage. So in they went, and out they came. The same dark, immersive environment was also not to Nora’s liking, and the volume of nonononononono was actually heard in the gift shop next door.

As her mother took her outside to see if a little explanation and cajoling might help, Nora took her mother’s face in her hands, looked her in the eye, and said, “I SAID dNO.”

Matthew 5 (The Message)

33-37 “And don’t say anything you don’t mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, ‘I’ll pray for you,’ and never doing it, or saying, ‘God be with you,’ and not meaning it. You don’t make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true.

Just say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong.

Let your yes be yes and your no be no, like a boss two-year-old!

It is interesting to see how The Message applies this to religious talk. How many times do you say to someone, “I will pray for you,” and then never do? Peterson calls that “religious lace.” In other words, we can see right through it. Worse, so can God.

I think there is a lot of smoke-screen-religious-speech happening right now. I would hazard a guess that there has always been a lot of it, if Jesus was addressing it over 2,000 years ago, calling it an issue that is “embedded deep in our traditions.“

We should strive for clear, accurate communication that is free of manipulative words that we use just to get our own way. Let us stick with the truth, and stop trying to making ourselves sound more religious with unnecessary embellishments. God calls us to mean what we say, and say what we mean.

Let your dNO be dNO.

My dNO means dNO.