Insomniafests

Have you ever wished to go back to your childhood so that you could sleep with your stuffed animal and feel the instant security and peace that your old friend would bring? Somehow just pulling that fluffy thing into your chest as the lights went out made all the scary things go away. A warm feeling of not being alone replaced the fear of separation from parents, Watching children cradle their “lovies” gives a parent a sense of security too, as we reluctantly close the door and whisper goodnight to the two friends snuggled together.

It is our fervent hope that the safe haven of their sleep won’t be interrupted by night terrors. Night terrors are common in childhood and are thought to be the way the subconscious expresses daytime fears and stress that found no voice. Watching a child have one is just as terrifying for the parent.

Typically we grow out of night terrors, but they seem to be replaced in adulthood by a similar sleep disruptor: night guilts. Night guilts occur when your overtired brain lays its weary head down, only to immediately begin to replay everything you didn’t get accomplished that day, every harsh word you said (or heard), every feeling of failure, worrying about everything, the oppression of “unfinished business”, etc. Throw in a little stress about tomorrow’s list of things to feel bad about, and you are in a full blown night guilt insomniafest. Bring out the jugglers. Oh, wait, did I remember to hire the jugglers?? What will they wear, should I coordinate my outfit with their costumes?? Rats, why didn’t I hire the dancing elephant instead?

And this all gets stuck on “replay” in a continuous loop.

Next time you find yourself reaching for the light switch at 3AM, read this:

Psalm 91 (English Standard Version)

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

“For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day.”

When I’m worried, and I can’t sleep, I try to drive out all those unprofitable, useless, stupid sleep-stealing mind guilts and imagine myself hidden and secure under the Father’s wings. I feel the strength of his pinions protecting me from the incoming arrows of my negative thoughts. His shield bounces away every worry from causing permanent damage to my psyche, and these imaginings help in quieting the insomniafest that rages within me.

“Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place—
    the Most High, who is my refuge

no evil shall be allowed to befall you,
    no plague come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways.
On their hands they will bear you up,
    lest you strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the adder;
    the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.”

So tonight, when you fall into your bed, hear God saying this to you:

“Because you hold fast to me in love, I will deliver you;
    I will protect you, because you know my name.
When you call to me, I will answer you;
    I will be with you in trouble;
    I will rescue you and honor you.
With long life I will satisfy you
    and show you my salvation.”

Isn’t that so much better than a teddy bear?

Monet’s Garden

The One Who Knows

Think for a moment about every relationship you have. Your parents, siblings, extended family, spouse, children, friends … who in this group would you say knows you the best? If you have a good relationship with your parents, you may have said one of them. If you are blessed by a good marriage, perhaps you named your spouse. For some of us, it’s a sibling who has known us all our lives. I took a walk with an old friend last week and told her I was relieved to have just submitted a completed assignment to the Cokesbury Publishing House, where I am an Adult Bible Study writer. She looked at me and said, “Yes, and when is it due? How many months early did you finish it?” I was tickled that she knows me so well. I like to get writing assignments wrapped up and off my desk early so that I can move on to the next thing. It blessed me to have a friend who has listened to me so carefully. I felt known.

And she was right. It’s not due until October.

No matter how strong your earthly relationships are, there is One who knows you better than anyone else. Psalm 33: 15 makes this clear: “God is the one who made all their hearts, the one who knows everything they do.” This unattributed psalm makes the case that God is both interested and observant in every aspect of our lives. God made all the hearts of humanity and watches over all who honor the Lord. Kings and warrior horses cannot save us: only God can deliver us from death.

God knows everything we do. How does that make you feel today, to be so fully known by the Creator of the Universe? Does it fill you with awe or shame?

Psalm 33 (Common English Bible)

The Lord looks down from heaven;
    he sees every human being.
14 From his dwelling place God observes
    all who live on earth.
15 God is the one who made all their hearts,
    the one who knows everything they do.

16 Kings aren’t saved by the strength of their armies;
    warriors aren’t rescued by how much power they have.
17 A warhorse is a bad bet for victory;
    it can’t save despite its great strength.
18 But look here: the Lord’s eyes watch all who honor him,
    all who wait for his faithful love,
19     to deliver their lives from death
    and keep them alive during a famine.

20 We put our hope in the Lord.
    He is our help and our shield.
21 Our heart rejoices in God
    because we trust his holy name.
22 Lord, let your faithful love surround us
    because we wait for you.

The sheer beauty of this last portion needs to be read again. We do, indeed, put our hope in the Lord who is our help and our shield! No matter what you are going through today, God’s faithful love goes through it with you. Do you trust that? Do you feel that faithful love surrounding you today?

We wait for God … and God never disappoints.

Getting To Know You by Michelle Robertson

Favored One

“Inside Out” is a wonderful movie about the exploration of emotions. We enter the world of eleven-year-old Riley, who experiences joy, fear, anger, disgust, and sadness over the prospect of moving to a new city. Along the way, young viewers learn a new vocabulary for expressing their own feelings. Some old ones do, too.

One of the blessings of the psalms is that they give voice to our many emotions. Think of them as a pre-Pixar “Inside Out”. All the “feels” are there as we see them finding expression for everything we are going through on a daily basis. The relevance of these writings is timeless.

Today’s psalm is no exception, as we see David once again fleeing for his life. This time it is his own son Absalom who was the pursuer. Absalom’s successful rebellion has driven David out of Jerusalem. In his distress, David expressed all of those emotions in just the first five verses. We see him cry out loud to God in fear. We see him disgusted with those who claim that God won’t help him. We see his anger against the many who stand against him. We see his sadness that people are talking about him. And finally, we see joy in his ability to feel confidence in his identity as a child of God, who is his shield. Can you relate to any of this? I can.

Psalm 3:1-5 (Common English Bible)

Lord, I have so many enemies!
    So many are standing against me.
So many are talking about me:
    “Even God won’t help him.” Selah

But you, Lord, are my shield!
    You are my glory!
    You are the one who restores me.
I cry out loud to the Lord,
    and he answers me from his holy mountain. Selah
I lie down, sleep, and wake up
    because the Lord helps me.

By the way, “Selah” is a device in the psalms that offers a pause. It gives the reader/singer a chance to reflect before moving on. I recently told a group at a woman’s retreat that it is like saying, “Yo!” after a meaningful phrase. But I digress.

This psalm gives us permission to feel all those same things. Joy, sadness, anger, disgust, and fear are just some of the emotions we can run through on a daily basis. How we handle those feelings is an indication of where we are on our walk with Jesus. 

David handled his emotions with the confidence of a favored son. Do you know that you are God’s favored as well? And like David, God will answer us when we cry out, whether in silent prayer or by raising our voices and shouting to the heavens.

And don’t miss David’s dismissal of the people who talked behind his back and assumed that because of his past sin record, God would not come to his aid. David responds with a great big “But” and counters that God is his shield, his glory, and is the one who restores him. David knew that he was not defined by his past mistakes, but rather was defined by the future glory that came with his repentance and God’s forgiveness. Do you know that as well, or are you letting your past define your present?

Psalm 3 is a beautiful reminder of God’s continuing presence in our every emotion. It is a clear declaration that God’s mercy is always available to us when we cry out to our mighty God. 

Need help? Your Shield stands at the ready.

God’s Glory by Becca Ziegler