fears

Fear of Flying

Posted on by Betsy

A few weeks ago I met a young girl named Emily who did NOT want to ride TRON, the new high-speed rollercoaster at Walt Disney World. She and her parents were waiting in line behind my husband and me, and she was crying the entire time. In those situations, you cannot help but overhear the conversations around you, and my mama-heart went out to her. Her parents were doing an excellent job of both encouraging her to be brave and allowing her to decide whether or not to ride. The ride offers cleverly placed exits just before you board your lightcycle in case you have a change of heart. They also have a way for one adult to ride alone while the other waits with the child, and then swap without having to go through the line again. All the options were available to Emily.

I took advantage of an opportune moment in the line to turn around and address her. I asked her if it was her first time to ride, knowing it was. I asked her if she was scared, and she nodded through her tears. I then told her that it was my second time, but the first time I was scared, too, because doing something for the first time is always a little scary. I went on to describe the ride, talk about the cool lockers where you stash your things before you board, and how much I was looking forward to riding it again. I told her I was very proud of how brave she was being, but also very proud of how she was able to tell her parents about her feelings, because that takes courage, too. Finally I said that she should be proud of herself whether she decides to ride or not, because she was willing to try something new, even if this she decided that this wasn’t the right time.

As I was bending over to speak to her, her mother reached around her shoulder to squeeze mine in one of those, “thank you, mama” moments. We exchanged looks and nodded to each other.

David understood fear and felt it deeply when his attackers were close on his heels. Psalm 56 was written about the time when the Philistines captured David in Gath, as recorded in 1 Samuel 21. It deals with the period between the visit to the tabernacle at Nob and his arrival at Adullam when David was alone, desperate, and afraid.

Fortunately, David knew what to do with his fear.

Psalm 56 (Common English Bible)

3 whenever I’m afraid,
    I put my trust in you—
4         in God, whose word I praise.
        I trust in God; I won’t be afraid.
    What can mere flesh do to me?

5 All day long they frustrate my pursuits;
    all their thoughts are evil against me.
6 They get together and set an ambush—
    they are watching my steps,
    hoping for my death.
7 Don’t rescue them for any reason!
    In wrath bring down the people, God!

8 You yourself have kept track of my misery.
    Put my tears into your bottle—
    aren’t they on your scroll already?

Here was David, the slayer of lions, bears, and giants, and he was afraid. But he knew to acknowledge his fear and deal with it by trusting God. When he boldly proclaimed his faith, his fear moved aside, and his faith took over. He put his faith in God’s word, which he knew to be trustworthy. Fear was there, but it did not rule him … trust did. Even when we are scared, trust gives us enough momentum to take the next step toward faith.

What are you afraid of today? What has you immobilized in fear? God is able to come along side of your fear and help you move forward into faith.

When we got off the ride, I looked through the crowd to see if I could spot Emily. We had gotten separated before we rode, so I did not know if she got on or not. Sure enough, there she was with her parents, standing by the exit. I asked her if she rode, and she beamed with pride and said she had! We high-fived several times and she couldn’t stop talking about it and wanted to know if I had been on Guardians of the Galaxy, which they would ride the next day. I assured her that once she had conquered TRON, she could ride anything. We chatted some more and high fived several more times, and her parents glowed with their pride for her. I was proud of her, too.

The next time God calls you to do something new and scary, remember Emily. It’s okay to be afraid. God is with you.

And Away We Gooooo! by Mark Poblete

Of Mice and Women

Posted on by Betsy

 I HATE MICE. Mice scurrying across the floor absolutely WIGS ME THE WIG OUT. I was a young Navy wife when I first got married, and we moved across country to California for our first duty assignment. We bought a brand new town house that was built on a strawberry field. So you know who immediately moved in? Strawberry field mice. NINE of them. It was horrible!

It was fine when my young Navy pilot was home to deal with it, but that only lasted for the first week, and then I was on my own…with the mice. I can’t stand looking at them, dead or alive, so I invented an INGENIOUS way of trapping them. Like, I should patent this.

I bought a handful of mousetraps and a package of paper lunch bags at the Navy Exchange. I set the traps with peanut butter and then slipped them into the back of an open lunch bag that I laid on the floor. The mouse would walk into the bag, and SNAP! I just had to pick up the bag and throw the whole thing away. INGENIOUS, right?

I bragged about this to my mother-in-law, who was a veteran Navy wife and not afraid of anything. She was appalled. “Betsy, you can just open up the trap over a trash can, dump out the mouse, and re-use the trap!” You see, Mom was a master at re-using things. She washed foil and zip lock bags all the time. She bought a box of zip lock bags once in the ‘60’s and used them for the rest of her life.

“Mom, I can’t stand looking at them! I know we’re only at Ensign pay, but I think we can afford to throw away a mouse trap that only costs $.54 at the Exchange!”

Psalm 94 (New International Version)

When I said, “My foot is slipping,”
    your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.
19 When anxiety was great within me,
    your consolation brought me joy.

Everybody has that one thing which provokes an almost irrational fear …sharks, airplanes, elevators, roller coasters, snakes, rush hour in Atlanta….and we also have rational fears. If you’ve been stalked, or abused, or threatened, it is rational to be afraid of that person. When we have to venture out into a big unknown, it is rational to experience anxiety. When your kid takes the car out for a solo drive for the first time, it is normal to worry.

But letting fear control your life is not rational. Jesus reminds us in the book of John that he came so that we might have “life abundant.” Abundance and fear cannot live in the same place.

Clearly there is a clinical aspect to anxiety that can be remedied with good therapy. But for the non-clinical situations that we face every day, it is good for us to take a deep breath and remember that anytime our foot slips, God’s unfailing love is there to support us. God’s consolation and presence can help us take our eyes off obsessing over our fears. God does not give us fear. He gives us love, power and SELF-CONTROL.

So whatever your “mouse” is, find a way around it. Remember scripture. Pray for calm. Take control. Center yourself in the knowledge that God is always with you: you shall not fear. His rod and his staff will comfort you. You’re never alone with God.

God is Always With You. Photo by Bev Mineo