The Doorkeeper

Posted on by Betsy

In places like New York City, people make a living opening doors for other people. Can you imagine? Posh, expensive apartment buildings employ doormen to assist residents as they come and go. They will also hail cabs, accept deliveries, help with heavy lifting, and welcome you home with a tip of the hat. They provide security for the building and can let you in your apartment if you lock yourself out. There is even a doormen’s union.

You can read more about it here if you are as weirdly fascinated with doormen as I am. There are days when I wish I had one! For some reason, I need to load up my arms with every grocery bag in the car rather than make multiple trips, and then I have to set them all down at the front door just to find my house key.

I often think about these folks when I encounter the 84th psalm. One of my favorite lines from this beautiful psalm is “I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than live in the tents of wickedness.” If you ever lived in a college dorm, you can get on board with that.

The psalmist ushers us into his deep and abiding love for the temple and gives us a taste of his attachment as he expresses his longing to be in God’s dwelling place. I sometimes feel this way about my church. When the pandemic locked us out for months, my desire to be back in the sanctuary was palatable. How about you?

Psalm 84 (New Revised Standard Version)

How lovely is your dwelling place,
    O Lord of hosts!
2 My soul longs, indeed it faints
    for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my flesh sing for joy
    to the living God.

3 Even the sparrow finds a home,
    and the swallow a nest for herself,
    where she may lay her young,
at your altars, O Lord of hosts,
    my King and my God.
4 Happy are those who live in your house,
    ever singing your praise.Selah

This picture of all-inclusive joy is certainly appealing! Everyone can find a home here, and all who dwell here are happy. By describing God’s earthly home in Jerusalem, the psalmist helps us envision God’s permanent home in eternity. The pilgrims making their way to the temple travel through the sorrowful valleys and nourishing springs, much like the journey we make to our heavenly, permanent home with God.

5 Happy are those whose strength is in you,
    in whose heart are the highways to Zion.
6 As they go through the valley of Baca
    they make it a place of springs;
    the early rain also covers it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength;
    the God of gods will be seen in Zion.

8 O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer;
    give ear, O God of Jacob!Selah
9 Behold our shield, O God;
    look on the face of your anointed.

10 For a day in your courts is better
    than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
    than live in the tents of wickedness.

The Lord is a sun and a shield for all of our earthly journeys, and when we walk in his ways, he will not withhold any good thing from us.


11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
    he bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does the Lord withhold
    from those who walk uprightly.

This psalm can bring a measure of comfort to us as we remember that our loved ones who have passed away have simply moved on to celestial apartment buildings with doormen. That helps us to trust in the Lord, who calls us all home someday.


12 O Lord of hosts,
    happy is everyone who trusts in you.

Trusting in God requires that we lay down our need for things like immediate solutions, easy answers, and self-sufficiency. And when we do, we discover the happiness that comes from being in God’s presence.

Where is God calling you to trust him today? God always hears our prayers and gives ear to our problems. You can trust that.

A Non-Unionized Doorman

Total Commitment

Posted on by Betsy

College football recruitment has been underway for months, and it has been fun to watch fans react to their team’s successes and failures. Did you know that there is an intricate system for ranking potential players and teams? At the end of the recruitment season, somebody actually comes out as the number one team for commitments. The savvy players have figured out how to use social and conventional media to spin their eventual commitment. I saw an elaborately designed graphic of a player wearing the uniforms of the two schools who were heavily recruiting him. The headline read “Which Will He Choose?” The spin was on.

I can’t imagine the pressure these young eighteen-year-olds feel when making this life-defining choice. It isn’t just about playing a game….this one decision truly sets their academic and professional careers on course for the rest of their lives.

Adulting involves making a lot of choices, doesn’t it? A wrong choice early on can take a long time to correct. Do you regret any of the choices you made in your younger years? I know I do.

But one choice I have never regretted is the choice to follow Jesus. I made this decision at the tender age of eleven when I attended something called a Lay Witness Weekend at my church. It was a weekend of activities, speakers, worship experiences, pot luck suppers (I am Methodist, after all!), and prayer. At the end of the weekend, I walked the aisle and gave my life to the Lord during an altar call. I have never looked back.

In our scripture this morning, Joshua brought the exhausted people of Israel to a place in the Promised Land called Shechem. It was time for them to commit:

Joshua 24 (The Message)

24 1-2 Joshua called together all the tribes of Israel at Shechem. He called in the elders, chiefs, judges, and officers. They presented themselves before God. Then Joshua addressed all the people:

2-6 “This is what God, the God of Israel, says: A long time ago your ancestors, Terah and his sons Abraham and Nahor, lived to the east of the River Euphrates. They worshiped other gods. I took your ancestor Abraham from the far side of The River. I led him all over the land of Canaan and multiplied his descendants. I gave him Isaac. Then I gave Isaac Jacob and Esau. I let Esau have the mountains of Seir as home, but Jacob and his sons ended up in Egypt. I sent Moses and Aaron. I hit Egypt hard with plagues and then led you out of there. I brought your ancestors out of Egypt. You came to the sea, the Egyptians in hot pursuit with chariots and cavalry, to the very edge of the Red Sea!

Joshua presented them with a concise history lesson on their relationship with God, emphasizing God’s saving actions on their behalf. He reminded them that provisions and people were given to them for centuries, and God’s actions on Israel’s behalf brought them to this very spot today.

14 “So now: Fear God. Worship him in total commitment. Get rid of the gods your ancestors worshiped on the far side of The River (the Euphrates) and in Egypt. You, worship God.

15 “If you decide that it’s a bad thing to worship God, then choose a god you’d rather serve—and do it today. Choose one of the gods your ancestors worshiped from the country beyond The River, or one of the gods of the Amorites, on whose land you’re now living. As for me and my family, we’ll worship God.”

Joshua makes his case very plainly. He is direct and to the point: chose God who saved you, or worship the neighborhood gods. But in any case, CHOOSE.

16 The people answered, “We’d never forsake God! Never! We’d never leave God to worship other gods.

17-18 “God is our God! He brought up our ancestors from Egypt and from slave conditions. He did all those great signs while we watched. He has kept his eye on us all along the roads we’ve traveled and among the nations we’ve passed through. Just for us he drove out all the nations, Amorites and all, who lived in the land.

If you recall your Bible history, you will remember that this commitment did not last long. God tried to soothe them with judges and kings, but the people proved to be unmanageable…and eventually, God sent Jesus.

“Count us in: We too are going to worship God. He’s our God.”

Today is a good day to contemplate your own commitment to the Lord. Is HE your God, or do you serve other gods? Is there anything you have put on the throne in his place? Consider how you spend your time, talent, resources, and attention. Do your choices bring you closer to God, or do they have nothing to do with him?

Choose this day whom you will serve.

Choose This Day by Michelle Robertson

Do Good

Posted on by Betsy

I am blessed to serve a church that has an AMAZING Care Ministry. This large group of people sends out meals, cards, prayers, and love to folks in our congregation and community when they are sick, recovering from surgery, or simply in need. Every week, people receive a much-needed gesture of comfort from a team member who has volunteered to be a “do-gooder.”

Are you a do-gooder? Has God put a call on your life to serve him in the capacity of ministering to others when they are down? Good on ya! YOU are the Body of Christ.

Psalm 34 encourages us to do good. The psalmist begins by inviting us to “fear the Lord.” This is a common phrase in the Old Testament, but we shouldn’t translate this as “be afraid” of the Lord.

John J. Parsons explains it this way:

The word translated “fear” in many versions of the Bible comes from the Hebrew word yirah(יִרְאָה), which has a range of meaning in the Scriptures. Sometimes it refers to the fear we feel in anticipation of some danger or pain, but it can also can mean “awe” or “reverence.”  In this latter sense, yirah includes the idea of wonder, amazement, mystery, astonishment, gratitude, admiration, and even worship (like the feeling you get when gazing from the edge of the Grand Canyon). The “fear of the LORD” therefore includes an overwhelming sense of the glory, worth, and beauty of the One True God.

So let us come to the Lord in wonder, reverence, and amazement!

Psalm 34 (New International Version)

Fear the Lord, you his holy people,
    for those who fear him lack nothing.
10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,
    but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

Seeking the Lord with all of your heart, mind, soul, and strength will result in lacking no good thing in your life. And that’s a good thing.


11 Come, my children, listen to me;
    I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
12 Whoever of you loves life
    and desires to see many good days,
13 keep your tongue from evil
    and your lips from telling lies.

Part of true reverence for God is committing to live by his commands, which includes “thou shalt not bear false witness.” This is how we demonstrate our commitment to the covenant…by keeping our tongues from evil and keeping our lips from telling lies. And we are to turn away from all evil and DO GOOD:


14 Turn from evil and do good;
    seek peace and pursue it.

Where is God calling you to be a do-gooder today? This isn’t one of those specialized calls…everyone can find some way to do something good for someone else. I bet you already have an idea! DO IT.

Astonishment by Kathy Schumacher

Wholeheartedly

Posted on by Betsy

Can you name something that you love with your whole heart? Something you love unreservedly, unconditionally, with no-holds-barred? My spouse, my daughters, their husbands (my girls married UP!) and my grandchildren fit into that category for me. Oh, and my dog, even at her orneriest. Wholehearted love is easy to feel for these special people in my life. (The dog thinks she’s a person. Who am I to argue?)

Psalm 111 is a joyous celebration of wholehearted love for the Lord. It was written as an acrostic psalm, which means that each line begins with a letter in the Hebrew alphabet, written in order. It is paired with psalm 112 (also an acrostic psalm) which extols the virtue of the godly person. But today’s passage extols the virtue of a majestic and magnificent God:

Psalm 111 (Common English Bible)

Praise the Lord!
    I thank the Lord with all my heart
    in the company of those who do right, in the congregation.

When the psalmist says that he thanks the Lord with ALL his heart, it is a reminder to us that we cannot love God with a divided heart. We can’t worship God and worship little gods such as privilege, wealth, prosperity, status, or fame. We can’t love God and hate his people. We can’t preach the Gospel and post hateful memes. Divided hearts are not what the Lord desires.


2 The works of the Lord are magnificent;
    they are treasured by all who desire them.
3 God’s deeds are majestic and glorious.
    God’s righteousness stands forever.

Johannes Kepler was a 17th Century German astronomer who studied the works of the Lord. Kepler discovered the three laws of planetary motion, changing the way we understood the nature of earth, the sun, orbits, and the universe. Against great opposition, he celebrated God’s magnificent works through a telescope and brought meaning and understanding to the science community. All of his observations were credited back to God:

“It is a right, yes a duty, to search in cautious manner for the numbers, sizes, and weights, the norms for everything God has created. For He himself has let man take part in the knowledge of these things … For these secrets are not of the kind whose research should be forbidden; rather they are set before our eyes like a mirror so that by examining them we observe to some extent the goodness and wisdom of the Creator.”  (From Epitome of Copernican Astronomy and Harmonies of the World)

Kepler was a scientist who treasured all the works of the Lord, and he didn’t allow the conventional wisdom of the time stop him from his research and exploration. His work proves that faith and science can coexist in harmony when the scientist loves God wholeheartedly.


4 God is famous for his wondrous works.
    The Lord is full of mercy and compassion.
5 God gives food to those who honor him.
    God remembers his covenant forever.
6 God proclaimed his powerful deeds to his people
    and gave them what had belonged to other nations.

In addition to the stars and the planets, God’s wondrous works include mercy and compassion. When we love God with our whole heart, these things should be our work, too. His handiwork is honesty and justice: those who love the Lord pursue these things as well. Where is God calling you to be an advocate of mercy, compassion, honesty, and justice?


7 God’s handiwork is honesty and justice;
    all God’s rules are trustworthy—
8         they are established always and forever:
        they are fulfilled with truth and right doing.
9 God sent redemption for his people;
    God commanded that his covenant last forever.
        Holy and awesome is God’s name!

Today is a good day to reflect on your covenant relationship with God. If you say you love him wholeheartedly, do your words, deeds, thoughts, actions, and posts reflect that? Wisdom begins with a reverential trust of the covenant. Keeping God’s laws brings knowledge and redemption. God always does his part in keeping the covenant…are you doing yours?


10 Fear of the Lord is where wisdom begins;
    sure knowledge is for all who keep God’s laws.
        God’s praise lasts forever!

The Works of the Lord are Magnificient by Michelle Robertson

Don’t Be Stupid

Posted on by Betsy

One of the things I encourage all my bible study participants to do is to read a passage in multiple translations. I recently met with a seminary student and made the same suggestion for sermon preparation. Doing this will ensure that your understanding of a passage is expanded. And sometimes, you come up with something quite unexpected!

Our passage from Ephesians today made me laugh out loud when I read it in the Contemporary English Version. I was not expecting to see something as forthright as “don’t be stupid.” As we say in the church, that will preach! How many times have you heard that said in an argument, or as your teenager is leaving the house with your car keys in his hand, or even to yourself as you are contemplating making a questionable choice? “Don’t be stupid” is wisdom for (and from!) the ages.

Paul loved the church in Ephesus, and was constantly praying and advising them in their new life as followers of Jesus. His recommendations in the fifth chapter are as relevant today as they were to the early church:

Ephesians 5 (Contemporary English Version)

15 Act like people with good sense and not like fools. 16 These are evil times, so make every minute count. 

Let’s pause here and consider this. Do you think we are also living in evil times? Sadly, I think the case can be made that we are. This makes the rest of what Paul had to say even more important.

17 Don’t be stupid. Instead, find out what the Lord wants you to do. 18 Don’t destroy yourself by getting drunk, but let the Spirit fill your life. 19 When you meet together, sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, as you praise the Lord with all your heart. 20 Always use the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to thank God the Father for everything.

Find out what the Lord wants you to do. That is good advice for us today. What is God calling you to do in this evil time? What is he calling the church to do? Surely our infighting grieves his heart. What would the church look like if we would simply focus on singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, and confine ourselves to praising the Lord with all our hearts?

God calls us today to act like people with good sense. That might require change. That might require remaining silent. That might require articulating your position in calm, even tones. Whatever the case may be for you, Paul is right. We need to make every minute count.

So go out and seize the day….and don’t be stupid!

Seize the Day by Michelle Robertson

Wisdom Seekers

Posted on by Betsy

If God appeared to you in a dream tonight and offered you ANYTHING you desired, what would you ask for? Would it be wealth? Status? Long life? Good health? The end of the pandemic? So many choices!

Solomon became king of Israel after the death of his father David, and this happened to him one night. Can you guess what he asked for?

1 Kings 3 (Common English Bible)

3 Now Solomon loved the Lord by walking in the laws of his father David, with the exception that he also sacrificed and burned incense at the shrines.

4 The king went to the great shrine at Gibeon in order to sacrifice there. He used to offer a thousand entirely burned offerings on that altar. 5 The Lord appeared to Solomon at Gibeon in a dream at night. God said, “Ask whatever you wish, and I’ll give it to you.”

6 Solomon responded, “You showed so much kindness to your servant my father David when he walked before you in truth, righteousness, and with a heart true to you. You’ve kept this great loyalty and kindness for him and have now given him a son to sit on his throne. 7 And now, Lord my God, you have made me, your servant, king in my father David’s place. But I’m young and inexperienced. I know next to nothing. 8 But I’m here, your servant, in the middle of the people you have chosen, a large population that can’t be numbered or counted due to its vast size. 9 Please give your servant a discerning mind in order to govern your people and to distinguish good from evil, because no one is able to govern this important people of yours without your help.”

When you think about it, it takes a smart guy to request to become a smart guy…kind of like the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz. His request was for a brain, yet all along the journey to Oz, he was the one who figured things out for the group. Perhaps his wisdom was evidenced by the fact that he knew his limitations and asked for help.

Merriam-Webster defines wisdom as “having the ability to discern inner qualities and relationships; having insight and good sense; and having good judgment.” These are not only important qualities for a king, but for us peasants, too.

10 It pleased the Lord that Solomon had made this request. 11 God said to him, “Because you have asked for this instead of requesting long life, wealth, or victory over your enemies—asking for discernment so as to acquire good judgment— 12 I will now do just what you said. Look, I hereby give you a wise and understanding mind. There has been no one like you before now, nor will there be anyone like you afterward. 

This is a good reminder to us today that discernment and good judgment are precious to God. We are correct in asking for wisdom and doing the things necessary every day to obtain it. When we study, question, LISTEN, and open ourselves to the leading of the Holy Spirit, we are wisdom-seekers who will be rewarded with God’s instruction.

13 I now also give you what you didn’t ask for: wealth and fame. There won’t be a king like you as long as you live. 14 And if you walk in my ways and obey my laws and commands, just as your father David did, then I will give you a very long life.”

Solomon’s wisdom-seeking resulted in receiving much more than wisdom. When we seek to be wise, God will also reward us with the wealth of a deeper relationship with him. And look at you, reading daily devotionals! May God grant us his wisdom and discernment for our efforts. Good on us!

Walk in the Light of God’s Wisdom by Kathy Schumacher

Impoverished Confusion

Posted on by Betsy

What do you do when you feel very frustrated with the plethora of misinformation that has flooded our world? I have tried to turn a blind eye to the ridiculous, harmful, and devastating stream of lies, innuendo, and manipulation that is coming from institutions and media outlets that were designed to protect and serve the people. Truth is hard to find. “Both sides” are guilty of pushing agendas that serve only themselves. I don’t know about you, but I have had enough. Staying off social media and not turning on the news helps a little, but it is not enough.

Case in point: a friend who is a local school teacher recently attended a school board meeting that was called to decide about student mask-wearing in the public schools. The debate went back and forth quite loudly and in the end, it was decided that it would be the “parents’ choice.” On the way out, my friend, who chose to wear a mask to this meeting, was likened to being a Nazi by a parent…for exercising his personal right to chose…which is what the parents were demanding.

Where is the truth? Where is humility? Where is respect?

Where is wisdom?

Our lectionary this week addresses the subject of wisdom. As we pursue this topic, we are treated to a short passage from Proverbs on the subject. It is a somewhat fanciful account of “Lady Wisdom” inviting those who are struggling with “impoverished confusion” to come into her home for a special banquet meal:

Proverbs 9 (The Message)

1-6 Lady Wisdom has built and furnished her home;
    it’s supported by seven hewn timbers.
The banquet meal is ready to be served: lamb roasted,
    wine poured out, table set with silver and flowers.
Having dismissed her serving maids,
    Lady Wisdom goes to town, stands in a prominent place,
    and invites everyone within sound of her voice:
“Are you confused about life, don’t know what’s going on?
    Come with me, oh come, have dinner with me!
I’ve prepared a wonderful spread—fresh-baked bread,
    roast lamb, carefully selected wines.
Leave your impoverished confusion and live!
    Walk up the street to a life with meaning.”

I have to say that this brought me up short today. I want nothing to do with the “impoverished confused” at this point. But that is wrong, and not the way God calls us to deal with people. When people are impoverished, they need to be fed the Bread of Life. When people are confused, they need to be taught the Word. This is our job as followers of Jesus.

Scripture always points to the loving inclusion of the Kingdom of God. Lady Wisdom was wise enough to realize that the way to combat those who lack knowledge is to welcome them in, serve them the finest things, and invite them to walk out to a life with meaning….in other words, be patient. Be kind. Be less judgmental and more open to conversation.

This is a hard lesson today. May God grant us grace in our frustrations, wisdom in how to deal with things, and may he bring the Truth to bear down on all of us equally.

Help us, Lord.

Let Streams of Mercy Flow by Trish Lawlor

I Hope, Lord

Posted on by Betsy

Waiting and watching. Every parent knows this drill. When your child is ill, teased, bullied, about to make a bad decision, misses the catch that loses the game, etc., that is your job: to wait and watch. Parenting comes with a certain amount of sleepless nights. The bad news is, this is not confined to their early years. I have friends who are preparing to send their kids off to college in the middle of a pandemic. They are walking the kitchen floorboards at 3 AM just like they did when those children were babies. Waiting and watching.

As a world community, we are also waiting and watching. A deadly virus that was supposed to be gone by now has mutated into an even deadlier virus. Hospitals are filling up again and non-COVID cases are having to wait and watch longer than they should due to the overcrowding of COVID patients. A friend’s daughter had to wait for a room for several hours longer than expected after a surgery because of this. Others are being turned away from their local Emergency Rooms for lack of beds.

Waiting and watching.

Psalm 130 is known as a penitential psalm, and is part of a collection of psalms of ascents that were sung by Hebrew pilgrims on their way to Jerusalem. It appears in Jewish, Catholic, and Protestant liturgies, and has been set to music by several composers. It is known as a song that is used in times of “communal distress.” How appropriate then, for us to study it today.

Psalm 130 (Common English Bible)

I cry out to you from the depths, Lord—
2 my Lord, listen to my voice!
    Let your ears pay close attention to my request for mercy!
3 If you kept track of sins, Lord—
    my Lord, who would stand a chance?
4 But forgiveness is with you—
    that’s why you are honored.

5 I hope, Lord.
My whole being hopes,
    and I wait for God’s promise.
6 My whole being waits for my Lord—
    more than the night watch waits for morning;
    yes, more than the night watch waits for morning!

7 Israel, wait for the Lord!
    Because faithful love is with the Lord;
    because great redemption is with our God!
8 He is the one who will redeem Israel
    from all its sin.

This is a song that is meant to comfort the discomforted. The beauty of the language of hope overrides the lament about waiting. The psalmist pleads for God to hear his request for mercy, and then reminds God of his forgiving nature. He reminds us that we, too, can wait for God’s promises.

What are you waiting for? What keeps you awake at night? Remember this, as you pace: God’s faithful love will redeem you, and in fact will redeem the world. So take comfort, all who wait. God hears our cries from the depths, and is coming to save us.

Our hope is in you, Lord.

Hope Rises by Michelle Robertson

Bread of Heaven

Posted on by Betsy

How many times during the day do you think about food? I never realized how much food occupies my mind until I had a day when I couldn’t have anything but liquids. A routine medical procedure that required a day of a liquid diet was an eye-opener. I discovered that during my morning run, all I think about in the last mile is what I will make for lunch. In the afternoon, my mind is pre-occupied with dinner plans. Even a late afternoon boat ride was consumed with what kind of drink/snack I would usually be enjoying instead of my can of diet Sprite. Food, glorious food! I even had to avoid Facebook and Twitter, as these are filled with recipe posts and pictures of things I couldn’t eat. When the procedure was finally over, my first thought wasn’t about the results….all I could think about was coffee and a breakfast biscuit. And more coffee.

Jesus probably understood our obsession with food when he proclaimed that he is the bread of life. What better way to demonstrate his supreme importance in our lives than to tap into our most basic need for sustenance:

John 6 (Common English Bible)

35 Jesus replied, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

What a beautiful image! Jesus is offering himself to us in a way that meets our needs. When he came, people struggled to understand what he was offering. For him to plainly say, “I am the bread of life” was as simple, and yet as profound, as it could be.

41 The Jewish opposition grumbled about him because he said, “I am the bread that came down from heaven.”

42 They asked, “Isn’t this Jesus, Joseph’s son, whose mother and father we know? How can he now say, ‘I have come down from heaven’?”

I suppose there will always be naysayers to everything, even the most incredible gift the world could have ever received. Joseph’s son couldn’t really be that special, after all….

43 Jesus responded, “Don’t grumble among yourselves. 44 No one can come to me unless they are drawn to me by the Father who sent me, and I will raise them up at the last day. 45 It is written in the Prophets, And they will all be taught by God. Everyone who has listened to the Father and learned from him comes to me. 46 No one has seen the Father except the one who is from God. He has seen the Father. 47 I assure you, whoever believes has eternal life. 48 I am the bread of life.

Jesus explains exactly what this gift means. It will not only sustain you, it will allow you to be raised up with him on the last day. It is not just manna for one day, it is manna for every day from now through eternity!

It isn’t just bread, it is the bread of LIFE.

49 Your ancestors ate manna in the wilderness and they died. 50 This is the bread that comes down from heaven so that whoever eats from it will never die. 51 I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever, and the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.”

With THIS bread, you will live forever.

How many times have you thought about food today? How many times have you thought about Jesus today? Jesus provides the bread that will never end…a bread that comes down from heaven above. That is worth our consideration.

May we think about God today as many times as we think about food.

Bread of Heaven by Wende Pritchard

Going to Bed Angry

Posted on by Betsy

I always loved those moments in church when someone would raise their hand and announce that they were celebrating a wedding anniversary. What a joy! When the number of years was especially impressive, say forty, fifty, and even sixty, I would ask them to share their secret to success. A couple of times the husband would joke that he learned early in their marriage to say “yes, dear.” But more often than not, the answer had something to do with “not letting the sun go down on their anger.” One wife told me that she and her husband believed in that so much, they would stay awake all night to resolve their argument rather than go to bed angry. That is excellent relationship advice from people who know!

We believe that scripture has warned us about going to bed when you’re angry with your bedmate, and so we assume this scripture relates to those kinds of relationships. But that is not the case. Read carefully and see if you can determine what exactly is said about not going to bed angry:

Ephesians 4 (The Message)

25 What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.

26-27 Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.

Did you notice that it says nothing about the person with whom you share a bed? No, indeed. This is how you are supposed to treat your NEIGHBOR.

That’s a bit startling, isn’t it? So what do you suppose would happen if we practiced this scripture with integrity? What would the world look like if everyone resolved their issues with their neighbors before bedtime? Some of us wouldn’t sleep for weeks.

Paul is right about needing to clear the air when there is a dispute. The devil absolutely is LOOKING for footholds in your life, and unresolved anger is a favorite.

Also notice that anger is not the villain here. Paul encourages us to go ahead and be angry. It is okay to be angry, but it is never okay to use it as fuel for revenge. Feeling anger is a natural response to conflict, but stuffing down your anger is far from healthy. Better to go to your neighbor and tell the truth. Get it out. Stop pretending. Open a mature dialogue. BUT DON’T STAY ANGRY.

And then he goes on to address other issues in the neighborhood:

28 Did you use to make ends meet by stealing? Well, no more! Get an honest job so that you can help others who can’t work.

29 Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.

This is especially important when you are talking to that neighbor about what has made you angry. Say ONLY what helps, and watch the way you talk.

30 Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted.

And the final word on the subject is a great summation of how to live in harmony with your neighbor:

31-32 Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

Are you caught in a situation where someone keeps making you mad? Pray, pray, pray, and then go gently into a conversation with them. Be honest, use helpful words, lay down your anger, avoid backbiting and profane talk, and be ready to forgive, even if you aren’t received well.

If you do this, you may sleep better tonight.

Don’t Let the Sun Go Down by Bonnie Bennett