Ashes, Ashes

Posted on by Betsy

Ring around the rosie! A pocket full of posey. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down!

Who has played this as a child? I have fond memories of watching my mother with my girls and my niece in a Disney hotel pool, holding hands and circling around while singing this. The finale was to all fall backwards into the water, which is a clever way to help young children learn how to hold their breath and immerse their heads under water without fear. Sneaky Grandmere!

I was startled to learn that some people attribute this cute little ditty to the plagues. Yes, the plagues. It is thought that ring around the rosie refers to the fever-flush that would appear on the face with the onset of sickness. Pocket full of posey refers to the medicinal herbs that were used to treat the victim. And of course ashes refers to the necessary burning of the bodies in an attempt to stem the course of the virus that was taking out entire villages.

That is quite a morbid take on a nursery rhyme, but it does lead us into a contemplation of our own mortality as we approach the season of Lent on Ash Wednesday.

Lent is the 40 days (not counting Sundays) prior to Easter when we are invited to slow down our frazzled pace and contemplate the meaning of life, death, and life beyond death. It is a season of preparation for the marvelous celebration of the resurrection on Easter morning. We are wise to approach it with a serious, soul-searching attitude.

Psalm 51

1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.

4 Against you, you alone, have I sinned, and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are justified in your sentence and blameless when you pass judgment.

5 Indeed, I was born guilty, a sinner when my mother conceived me.

6 You desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart.

Truth in the inward being is a noble pursuit. God knows the secrets of our heart, but do we? Is there stuff buried so deep that we have forgotten about it? The strength of our denial can enable us to live as though certain actions and behaviors never took place. We go along on our merry way, thinking we have gotten away with it.

Lent says otherwise. It is an opportunity to confront our deepest sin without fear, because Jesus has the power to cleanse us, FREE US, and make us whole again.

You know that the thing you have buried is still there, waiting like a ticking time bomb to resurface and explode you into pieces. God says that is not necessary. You can give it over to him and let him blot it completely out.

This Lent, let us ask God to teach us his wisdom in our secret hearts.

It’s time to come clean.

Photo courtesy of Covenant Presbyterian Church

Solitude

Posted on by Betsy

I really, really dislike solitude. Everybody who knows me gets that. I score extremely high on the “extrovert” scale, which means that being surrounded by people energizes me. I once went on a retreat that had enforced solitude. We could not speak to one another for an entire night and into the next morning. I thought I would die.

But today I read something that blew me away:

“In solitude, we stop believing our own press.”

Whoa. This nugget comes from Ruth Haley Barton’s book, Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership, which my church staff is reading together as we consider our personal leadership style and the challenges of leading others. In her chapter on solitude, Barton asserts that it is only when we are apart from others and quiet in our own souls that we can begin to deal with our false self.

People develop false selves as a way of negotiating past experiences as they deal with current realities. The false self is a set of adaptive behaviors that are often in opposition to the life of love and trust that God offers us and wants from us. False selves come from a need for self-preservation, but can be a strong obstacle when it comes to having an authentic relationship with Christ, who knows our true selves (and loves us anyway.)

Luke 12 (The Message)

2 You can’t keep your true self hidden forever; before long you’ll be exposed. You can’t hide behind a religious mask forever; sooner or later the mask will slip and your true face will be known. You can’t whisper one thing in private and preach the opposite in public; the day’s coming when those whispers will be repeated all over town.

In this passage, Jesus is speaking directly to his disciples and warning them about the habits of the Pharisees. The hypocrisy of the Pharisees acted like a yeast that could easily spread and detract from God’s message. They were a negative witness to the love, compassion, and true mission of God’s people.

Jesus warns us to remain authentic and present ourselves as we truly are. No religious masks, no talking behind our hands out of both sides of our mouths…eventually everyone gets exposed for who they actually are. So stop believing your own press, and OWN UP.

In Christ, there is no need for false selves, blown up egos, over-aggrandized facades, or hiding. It’s a come-as-you-are party with him. He sees you for all that you are, and loves you unconditionally.

Take a quiet moment today to reflect on that. Jesus knows all about you, and grace, mercy, and forgiveness are always his response when you open up and are real with him.

Solitude will reinforce this…if you let it.

All is Quiet

Kinsman Redeemer

Posted on by Betsy

The marvelous book of Ruth in the Old Testament shows the kinsman redeemer law in action. Based on Leviticus 25, the law simply said that when a husband/father dies, it falls to the nearest male relative to take the wife/mother/children into his household to provide for them. Women and children had no status in those days, and this compassionate law was their only defense in a patriarchal society.

In the third chapter of Ruth, we see Naomi, Ruth’s mother-in-law, preparing Ruth to approach Boaz to become her kinsman redeemer. Naomi has lost her husband and both her sons, and so their situation is precarious, to say the least. Ruth makes her way to Boaz in a very favorable moment:

Ruth 3 (Contemporary English Version)

7 Boaz ate and drank, and he was in a good mood. He went over to lie down by the edge of the grain pile. Then she quietly approached, uncovered his legs, and lay down. 8 During the middle of the night, the man shuddered and turned over—and there was a woman lying at his feet. 9 “Who are you?” he asked.

She replied, “I’m Ruth your servant. Spread out your robe over your servant, because you are a redeemer.”

10 He said, “May you be blessed by the Lord, my daughter! You have acted even more faithfully than you did at first. You haven’t gone after rich or poor young men. 11 And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I’ll do for you everything you are asking. Indeed, my people—all who are at the gate—know that you are a woman of worth.”

When it was ascertained that Boaz was indeed the next kinsman redeemer available, he married Ruth and took in Naomi as well.

I love this story because the mother-in-law is the hero. Think about that. How many bad mother-in-law jokes have you heard? I have always resented those because I was blessed with an OUTSTANDING mother-in-law. And now that I am a MIL, I really like a story that shows one in a positive light.

Ruth and Boaz had a child whose lineage provided YOU with your kinsman redeemer. Through the generations, and through the house of David, came a child of that line whose name was Jesus. He came to redeem us, and truly is our own kinsman redeemer through our adoption by his Father:

Ephesians 1:5 (New Living Translation)

5 God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.

And thus a resourceful mother-in-law was pivotal in the salvation of the world. (I told you this is a good MIL story!)

So if you ever find yourself doubting your place in the family of God and unsure of your position, remember that YOU are a kinsman to the Redeemer. All of this happened for your salvation! Thanks be to God.

Family Lineage

Sabbath Snow

Posted on by Betsy

Walking with a fellow preacher on President’s Day, we began to commiserate about the fact that we often work on days that most people experience as holidays. Christmas and Easter are the obvious ones, but even those happy little Monday holidays that normal people enjoy don’t usually provide a day off for us. Sermons still need to be written, bible studies need prepped, and urgent hospital visits aren’t canceled due to the calendar. Don’t get me wrong, we love our work. But carving out a sabbath for people who work on the sabbath takes effort. Everybody who has to work on the weekend, raise your hand!

My friend confessed to me that the only time she really feels released from work is on a snow day. The inability to physically get out of the house is the one time she can just let herself have a do-nothing day and relax without feeling guilty. We don’t get many snow days on the Outer Banks, but when we do, it’s a treat.

There is truly something magical about a snow day that helps the world shut down and reflect. I can remember the joy of a snow day when I was a kid. All of Chatham Road would gather on the street for snowball fights, sledding, and making snowmen in each other’s front yards. Snow days are a child’s best sabbath.

Exodus 20 (The Message)

8-11 Observe the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Work six days and do everything you need to do. But the seventh day is a Sabbath to God, your God. Don’t do any work—not you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your servant, nor your maid, nor your animals, not even the foreign guest visiting in your town.

For in six days God made Heaven, Earth, and sea, and everything in them; he rested on the seventh day. Therefore God blessed the Sabbath day; he set it apart as a holy day.

I joked with my friend that poor God is looking at all of his hard workers and saying, “What, I gotta send you SNOW to make you take a rest?” God created the sabbath for us so that we might cease our work and spend that time with family, friends, our thoughts, and God himself. That’s why he made it HOLY: it is set apart for his use so we might re-charge and re-connect with him.

Sabbath-making and sabbath-taking is meant to be a blessing to us. Many of my friends work seven days a week for months on end. The Outer Banks is a seasonal community, and our population quadruples with visitors in the warmer months. Our local businesses go crazy when the season begins. Sometimes there is no choice.

So the key here is to create sabbath in ways that accomplish what sabbath is intended to do: to re-charge our souls and re-connect with God. In other words, find a way to create your own snow day.

If God, who created the universe, counted and named all the stars, and set the rising and the setting of the sun in motion took a day off, so can you. Rest. Recuperate. Relax and remember who you are, and whose you are.

Tomorrow comes either way.

Come Unto Me, and I Will Give You Rest by Becca Ziegler

Hang on to the Rope

Posted on by Betsy

The story is told of a helicopter that was called to remove eleven stranded skiers from a mountain top during an avalanche. The pilot deployed a rope ladder and instructed them to hang on. As they clung to the rope and flew away, the wind shear became treacherous when they flew over a deep ravine. The helicopter began to dip, and the pilot called down to the ten men and one woman clinging to the rope that the helicopter could only support the weight of ten people. So in order for everyone to survive, someone would have to let go. 

The skiers began to grumble and fight among themselves, and finally the woman spoke up. 

“Gentlemen, I have lived a life of service to my family. I have sacrificed all of my life for my children and my husband. I denied myself at every turn, even taking care of both my parents before they died. In light of that, I have decided that since sacrifice was the way I lived, sacrifice will be the way I die. I will sacrifice myself so that you all may survive.” When the men heard this they were overcome with gratitude, and immediately every single one of them took their hands off the rope and burst into applause!

But on a more serious note….

For every one of you who lives a life of service to your family, who makes sacrifices for their welfare, and who works tirelessly to provide for your household: we see you. You live a life of frequent self-denial so that others might thrive and be happy. But make no mistake…DON’T LET GO OF THE ROPE.

Joshua 1:9 New International Version (NIV)

9 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

That, right there, is your rope. The Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Grab ahold of him.

I remember once seeing our preschool’s two-year-old class walking to the playground. The teachers use a long rope with multiple loops with handles, and the kids hang on to it as they walk. Yep, we got kids-on-a-rope right here! And you know those kids hang on for life.

So too should we. We need to hang on to God for dear life.

Joshua 23 (The Message)

 8 Hold tight to God, your God, just as you’ve done up to now.

9-10 “God has driven out superpower nations before you. And up to now, no one has been able to stand up to you. Think of it—one of you, single-handedly, putting a thousand on the run! Because God is God, your God. Because he fights for you, just as he promised you.

So the next time you’re falling into bed well after midnight because you were up finishing the laundry, helping a child with a science project that they only remembered after dinner is due tomorrow, or fixing the garbage disposal, know that God was there. When the alarm goes off at O-Dark-Thirty tomorrow morning, realize that God will be along for the ride as you commute to work for another long day.

God honors your sacrifice. You are a blessing to your family. So hang on! God is God…YOUR God. You are never alone.

This is the legit Safety Information Card from an airline that I flew on. Once.

Befriending Your Brokenness

Posted on by Betsy

Last week I told my congregation a story that came out of India. There once was a water bearer who had two large water pots in which he carried water from the river to his master every day. One of the pots was perfect. The other one had a crack in it. The perfect pot always arrived at the master’s quarters perfectly full. The cracked pot was always half empty. Embarrassed and ashamed, the cracked pot said to his carrier one day, “Why don’t you get rid of me? I never arrive at the master’s quarters more than half full.”

”Ah,” replied the water bearer, ”you don’t know the full story. Look beside the road where I carry you each day. There are flowers growing that I pick for the master’s table. The flowers only bloom on your side of the road. It is your cracked pot that waters them.”

Isn’t that an inspiring story for all of the cracked pots reading this today???

Scripture: Psalm 147: 2-5 (NRSV)

2 The Lord builds up Jerusalem;
    he gathers the exiles of Israel.
3 He heals the brokenhearted
    and binds up their wounds.
4 He determines the number of the stars
    and calls them each by name.
5 Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
    his understanding has no limit.

This beautiful Psalm speaks of brokenness. It reminds us that God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Brokenness is everywhere. All around us are people dealing with broken hearts, broken bodies, broken dreams, broken relationships, broken thoughts, broken jobs, broken social lives, broken promises, broken minds….brokenness has been part of who we are since Adam and Eve broke the covenant with God in the garden.

In his wonderful book The Life of the Beloved, Henri Nouwen suggests that we befriend our brokenness by embracing it, acknowledging it, and owning up to it. This is far preferable to running away from it. The first step to healing is not a step away from the pain of brokenness, but a step toward it. Attempting to avoid, repress, or escape the pain is like cutting off a limb that could be re-attached if it only had proper attention.

Nouwen asserts that our human suffering need not be an obstacle to the joy and peace we desire, but instead it can become the means to it. But he cautions that we can’t do it alone. We need someone to stand with us in the brokenness, to remind us that there is peace beyond the anguish, life beyond death, and love beyond fear.

Are you broken? What is the source of your anguish? Where is God calling you to lay down your broken pieces and let him make something beautiful out of them?

As you make your way through it, find a friend. Ask for help. Go to a therapist, a church, a clergy person, a trusted family member, and get someone to come alongside of you. Nouwen is right. If we befriend our brokenness with someone who has befriended us, we will find hope at the end of the journey together.

God will use your brokenness to bring forth beautiful flowers, if you let him. Everyone and everything can be repaired, and you will find meaning and value in the hands of the Master. You are the Beloved!

Broken Shell Planter by Jan Wilson

Lifesavers in Church

Posted on by Betsy

When I was a child attending the Gibbsboro United Methodist church, my father always carried a roll of lifesavers in his coat pocket. These would be doled out to my sister and me. We had to wait until the sermon began, as we were all good singers and he didn’t want anyone to choke on one during a hymn.

That was OK with us, because we loved to sing the harmonies of the classics in that old red book. My father was an exquisite baritone, my mother sang alto, and my sister had perfect pitch and could handle any tenor part that came down the Jersey pike. That left the soprano to me, which was fine, since that is where my vocal register sits anyway. We were a perfect quartet.

When the sermon began, the lifesaver roll would come out of Dad’s pocket and be passed down the pew. There were only two flavors offered: Butter Rum or Wild Cherry. Butter Rum days were my favorite. I still prefer caramel flavorings over everything else…even chocolate. Plus, eating something labeled “rum” in church made my sister and me giggle.

My Dad was brilliant in having something ready for wiggly kids on Sunday mornings. However, the idea of lifesavers in church was not exactly a novel idea.

Matthew 14 (The Message)

24-26 Meanwhile, the boat was far out to sea when the wind came up against them and they were battered by the waves. At about four o’clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them walking on the water. They were scared out of their wits. “A ghost!” they said, crying out in terror.

27 But Jesus was quick to comfort them. “Courage, it’s me. Don’t be afraid.”

28 Peter, suddenly bold, said, “Master, if it’s really you, call me to come to you on the water.”

29-30 He said, “Come ahead.”

Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, “Master, save me!”

31 Jesus didn’t hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, “Faint-heart, what got into you?”

32-33 The two of them climbed into the boat, and the wind died down. The disciples in the boat, having watched the whole thing, worshiped Jesus, saying, “This is it! You are God’s Son for sure!”

We have a Savior who can rescue us from any disaster, who walks on water just to get in a rocking boat with us, and saves us from drowning in our sorrows. Jesus calms every storm, and brings us back to life.

Are you are up to your neck in something bad? Jesus can get you out of it.

Are the winds of self-doubt and discouragement screaming in your ears? Ask Jesus, and he will tell them to SHUT UP.

Are you a Faint-heart? Just look up. Jesus is reaching down into your mess to pull you out.

When Peter began to panic and lost sight of his Savior, Jesus didn’t hesitate to grab him. He will do the same for you.

So have courage! Your lifesaver is at hand.

Time for the Sermon

Season Confusion

Posted on by Betsy

Unseasonable warmth came to the Outer Banks last week, despite it being the middle of February. Our normal wintery temperatures have ceded to beautiful, sunshiny, 70-degree days. Don’t get me wrong, we love it…but it is confusing the heck out of our daffodils. This picture was posted by a friend, who warned that the cold would return that night and she hopes these beautiful blossoms will survive. She captioned it, “season confusion.”

My mind instantly went to the beautiful passage in Ecclesiastes that speaks of seasons:

Ecclesiastes 3

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

I wonder if we don’t also occasionally experience season confusion ourselves. We stay in a time of mourning when God is releasing us to dance. We embrace inappropriately without consideration of the other person’s comfort level. We continue to tear at something when it’s time to mend that relationship. We hate, when God is asking us to love, and we go to war over an ideology or personality rather than be the peace-makers God is calling us to be.

Are you in the wrong season? Tearing down something that God is telling you to build up? Staying stuck in your ways, rather than uproot your attitude and consider other perspectives? Still searching for the perfection of that unobtainable thing when God is telling you to let it go?

If you are feeling out of sorts with your life and out of place in the world, consider that you may be experiencing season confusion. Think, meditate, and pray. God will lead you to the season he has prepared for you. EVERYTHING has a season under the sun. Maybe it’s time for a change.

Daffodils in February by Jan Wilson

Band Camp

Posted on by Betsy

Something recently triggered my memories of attending band camp when I was in high school. We would travel by bus to a large camp somewhere near Tobyhanna, PA, and spend about five days learning the fall show. It was everything you would hope the experience would be: fun, informative, social, and very challenging. Early morning “marching and maneuvering“ practice was the WORST. We would descend on the practice field still covered in heavy dew, and our feet stirred up all of the resting mosquitoes and no-see-ums (it’s a Pennsylvania thing.) Luckily this was done without instruments, so our hands were free to swat and slap.

Those days in the heat promoted bonding that I still feel with my fellow band members when I see their posts on FaceBook. I had the opportunity a few years ago to officiate the wedding of a former drummer’s daughter. We don’t even live in the same state, but the friendship that began on a sweltering practice field in the August of our youth made it seem like a natural fit, and it was a joy to re-connect with old friends.

Many of us probably don’t remember how to play the instruments we carried during those years. None of us could recall the intricate routines. We probably can’t remember all the names of the songs we had to memorize. But the bonds we made in those formative years last forever.

Philippians 2 (The Message)

2 1-4 If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends.

Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

Band-life was Philippians 2-life. Except for the chair challenges, when each player tried to capture first chair in their section, we did not push ourselves to the front or try to get our own advantage. When we hit the field, we were a community that felt a deep-spirited friendship, and we worked together to defeat the other bands. We were a team.

If you have ever been part of something bigger than yourself, you understand. God calls us into community so that we might bond with other workers toward the same goal. In the community of believers, that means humbling ourselves in the way that Christ did:

5-8 Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! 

Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.

Where is God calling you to take second chair? Where might you make a bigger impact by putting others first? Is God inviting you to forget about yourself, and offer a helping hand to someone else?

Being part of God’s bigger vision for your life means being a part of a deep-spirited community. Let us choose to love one another, agree with one another, and be deep-spirited friends. This is the way we will win the world.

East Coast Champions by the Record Breeze via Greta Mattingly

WhatEVER

Posted on by Betsy

If you have ever had a teenager, if you have one now, or if you simply know a teenager, you have heard the word whatEVER waaay, waaay too much. It becomes the common response to EVERYTHING for a (thankfully) brief period of time…say, from age 11 to about 21. (31?) Often delivered with an eye roll, a foot stomp, and a perfectly dismissive tone of voice, whatEVER signals to the hearer that the speaker is finished with the conversation and has totally moved on. End of. Door closed. Don’t bother to knock.

Oh, the joys of raising kids!

In defense of the teens that we all raise and love, whatEVER also signals that your teen is overwhelmed, frustrated, distracted, and emotionally underwater. The dismissiveness is not always a lack of respect, as much as it feels like it. It is your kid’s way of saying, ”TOO MUCH. School is too much, social media is too much, my boy/girl friend issues are too much, the bullying at lunch is too much, my so-called-friends are too much, the pressures of hormonal life with an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex are just TOO MUCH.” It’s perhaps in this moment that they need Mom and Dad the most, even with the strong-arm/push-away behavior that they are exhibiting.

And don’t be fooled…whatEVERness is not just restricted to teenagers. Look around your friend group, your workplace, and your community, and you’ll find someone choosing dismissive and off-putting behavior as a way to deal with their own TOO-MUCHNESS.

WhatIF we could turn their WhatEVERs into something lovely?

Philippians 4

8 Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

When someone comes at you full bore and you get blindsided by their hostility, it is a good thing to pause and consider what else is happening. It’s also important to think about what is true, honorable, just, pure, and pleasing about them. In other words, in the face of resistance, rebellion, and rudeness (whether from your kid or another adult) think to yourself: what is really going on? Is there ANY redeeming quality in this person (albeit not in this moment?)

If the answer is yes, take a deep breath and think about THOSE things. Then pray.

Someday, you will be glad that you did not overreact to your teenager’s hormones. Someday, you will be glad that you didn’t meet rudeness with rudeness. Someday that awful co-worker who was trying to undermine you may actually come back to apologize, and thank you for your graciousness.

And someday, that overwhelmed kid will be an overwhelmed parent of a teenager themself. And when that happens, and they come complaining to you about what their child just had the NERVE to say to them, you know what your response can be?

“WhatEVER!!!”

Whatever is Pleasing, Think on This by Michelle Robertson