Of Mice and Women

Posted on by Betsy

 I HATE MICE. Mice scurrying across the floor absolutely WIGS ME THE WIG OUT. I was a young Navy wife when I first got married, and we moved across country to California for our first duty assignment. We bought a brand new town house that was built on a strawberry field. So you know who immediately moved in? Strawberry field mice. NINE of them. It was horrible!

It was fine when my young Navy pilot was home to deal with it, but that only lasted for the first week, and then I was on my own…with the mice. I can’t stand looking at them, dead or alive, so I invented an INGENIOUS way of trapping them. Like, I should patent this.

I bought a handful of mousetraps and a package of paper lunch bags at the Navy Exchange. I set the traps with peanut butter and then slipped them into the back of an open lunch bag that I laid on the floor. The mouse would walk into the bag, and SNAP! I just had to pick up the bag and throw the whole thing away. INGENIOUS, right?

I bragged about this to my mother-in-law, who was a veteran Navy wife and not afraid of anything. She was appalled. “Betsy, you can just open up the trap over a trash can, dump out the mouse, and re-use the trap!” You see, Mom was a master at re-using things. She washed foil and zip lock bags all the time. She bought a box of zip lock bags once in the ‘60’s and used them for the rest of her life.

“Mom, I can’t stand looking at them! I know we’re only at Ensign pay, but I think we can afford to throw away a mouse trap that only costs $.54 at the Exchange!”

Psalm 94 (New International Version)

When I said, “My foot is slipping,”
    your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.
19 When anxiety was great within me,
    your consolation brought me joy.

Everybody has that one thing which provokes an almost irrational fear …sharks, airplanes, elevators, roller coasters, snakes, rush hour in Atlanta….and we also have rational fears. If you’ve been stalked, or abused, or threatened, it is rational to be afraid of that person. When we have to venture out into a big unknown, it is rational to experience anxiety. When your kid takes the car out for a solo drive for the first time, it is normal to worry.

But letting fear control your life is not rational. Jesus reminds us in the book of John that he came so that we might have “life abundant.” Abundance and fear cannot live in the same place.

Clearly there is a clinical aspect to anxiety that can be remedied with good therapy. But for the non-clinical situations that we face every day, it is good for us to take a deep breath and remember that anytime our foot slips, God’s unfailing love is there to support us. God’s consolation and presence can help us take our eyes off obsessing over our fears. God does not give us fear. He gives us love, power and SELF-CONTROL.

So whatever your “mouse” is, find a way around it. Remember scripture. Pray for calm. Take control. Center yourself in the knowledge that God is always with you: you shall not fear. His rod and his staff will comfort you. You’re never alone with God.

God is Always With You. Photo by Bev Mineo

Mood Rings

Posted on by Betsy

Readers of a certain age might be interested to know that mood rings are BACK. I recently visited my hip young niece, and was surprised to see one on her hand. Some of us can remember this amazing fad from our own youth.

For the uninformed, a mood ring is a ring made with thermochromatic liquid crystals that change color with changes in temperature of the ring finger. These colors are thought to be a reflection of the wearer’s emotions. For example, a blue ring indicates that the wearer is calm and relaxed. Yellow signals nervousness and unhappiness, while black….well, run fast if your friend’s ring goes black. Black reveals someone who is tense, nervous, overworked, harassed, and stressed. I once had a boss who wore a mood ring. It was very helpful to us peons. The word would spread through the restaurant that the “RING IS BLACK” and we would all scurry into the corners until he went back into his office. That ring probably saved our lives.

Everyone has a bad day. Everyone wakes up in the occasional bad mood. But whether we choose to stay there or not….THAT is the question.

Lamentations 3

19-21 I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
    the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
    the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there’s one other thing I remember,
    and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

22-24 God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out,
    his merciful love couldn’t have dried up.
They’re created new every morning.
    How great your faithfulness!
I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over).
    He’s all I’ve got left.

Sometimes the only way out of a bad mood is to simply acknowledge it, and then REMEMBER. Remember that God’s loyal love never runs out. Remember that his merciful love can never dry up. Remember that he is our hope and our faithful savior. Remember.

25-27 God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
    to the woman who diligently seeks.
It’s a good thing to quietly hope,
    quietly hope for help from God.
It’s a good thing when you’re young
    to stick it out through the hard times.

The niece with the mood ring is going through a very hard time right now. This scripture speaks right into her situation…it is a good thing when you are young to stick it out through the hard times. I venture to say that it is also a good thing when you’re OLD to stick it out through the hard times.

28-30 When life is heavy and hard to take,
    go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions:
    Wait for hope to appear.
Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face.
    The “worst” is never the worst.

Did you hear that? The “worst” is never the worst. Hang in there, black mood-ring-wearers. Blue is coming soon. Remember where your hope comes from. Things may be dark for a night, but hope comes in the morning. Don’t ask questions: just wait for hope to appear.

HopeRise by Michelle Robertson

Edgar and Ali

Posted on by Betsy

Edgar was a very refined Snowy White Egret. He lived all his life on the Reedy Creek Swamp with his family and friends. He was a very special bird, who had been rescued as a young baby from the jaws of an encroaching raccoon at the edge of the water.

This brazen predator had wandered where raccoons usually dare not go, due to the presence of alligators in the swamp. When Edgar attempted his first flight, he fell from the nest and was grabbed by the raccoon, who bit hard on Edgar’s wing. His brave mother rescued him by attacking the nasty thing and forcing it to drop Edgar. Unfortunately his wing was injured in the melee, and he had a wing-wobble for the rest of his life which made flight impossible. But still, his life on the swamp was happy and warm.

You see, when Edgar was recovering from his injuries, he met a lovely young alligator named Ali. She had spotted him by the edge of the water and swam over for a closer look. Seeing his despondent face, she asked, “Oh, dear! What ever is the matter? Your face is as long as a meadow horse!”

Edgar had never seen a meadow horse, but she seemed kind, so he took her word for it. “Well, I fell out of the family nest a few weeks ago and a raccoon bit my wing so hard, Doc Heron said I will never fly again. My family is off right now, flying to the other side of swamp, and I am stuck here.”

“Dear, dear,” said Ali. “That is very sad, indeed.” Ali thought for a moment and suddenly her face brightened. “Well, there is only one thing for it. All aboard the Ali-Boat!”

Edgar blinked. “The whaaaat?”

“The Ali-Boat! Just hop on my back and I will take you over!” Edgar hesitated. His mother had warned him that living in the trees above the gators was for their protection, as the possums and raccoons who eat egrets did not live near the gators. But gators were known to eat the discarded egret eggs that fell from the nests, so you never could be too careful…

Edgar looked at Ali with her big toothy grin, and decided to take a leap of faith. Anything was better than sitting under the same tree, day after day.

And so the friendship of Edgar and Ali began with that first ride, and they have been going around the swamp together ever since. They love to talk, and laugh, and observe swamp-life together. Edgar’s sharp eyes help Ali see things far in the distance, and Ali’s smooth swimming helps Edgar get to places where he could never fly.

Ecclesiastes 4 (The Message)

9 It’s better to have a partner than go it alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there’s no one to help, tough!

11 Two in a bed warm each other.
Alone, you shiver all night.

12 By yourself you’re unprotected.
With a friend you can face the worst.

I bet you have an Edgar in your life. Or an Ali. God created friendship to be a symbiotic partnership, so that we might not feel lonely, so that we might protect and be protected, and so that when one of us falls, the other is right there to help us get up. With a friend, you can face the worst.

A wise grandmother once told me, “To have a friend, you have to be a friend.”

Go and be a good friend to someone today.

BFFs

A Sign from God

Posted on by Betsy

We were sitting outside by the hotel pool on an unusually chilly Florida day. I had wrapped myself in a beach towel for warmth and was watching kids running around the pool and going up and down the water slide. Surely these children were from Minnesota. It was way too chilly to actually be WET out here.

As my husband and I chatted (my teeth were slightly chattering,) a plane flew overhead and began to write something in the sky. Our hotel was located between Walt Disney World and Universal Studios, so I figured the message would be something akin to “Surrender, Dorothy.” Imagine my surprise when the words “TRUST JESUS” appeared. Why yes, don’t mind if I do!

I had been worrying over a retreat that I am leading in a few days. We couldn’t find a curriculum we liked, so the organizer asked me if I could write something. Let me pause here and say if any of you are aware that I have been asked to do such a thing in the future, please slap me upside the head until I say no.

But since none of you were there to slap me, I said yes, and have been diligently writing, planning, and dreaming away ever since. This job is so much bigger than I am. How should the timing of each session go? Do I have enough interaction planned? How much music? Is there a good balance of quiet reflection and table-talking? Should we do a craft? What craft?

It will probably amuse you to know that the subject they wanted me to focus on is WORRY. At least my firsthand knowledge of the subject will give me that authentic voice we all long to hear when we go to a retreat. I have worried, fretted, lost sleep, changed direction, talked incessantly to my running partners about it….oy vey.

This morning I discovered that my sermon for the final worship session (which I finished on the plane on the way to Florida) has somehow managed to go missing in cyber space, and the last two-thirds did not get saved.

Trust Jesus, indeed.

Proverbs 3 (New International Version)

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

So what do you have going on right now? Where is God calling you to stop leaning on YOUR understanding, and submit to him? What are you holding back because you don’t actually trust him?

This scripture is calling you to trust in the Lord with ALL your heart. Not just for the little things, parsing out simple tasks to him, but with EVERYTHING. Your home, your life, your marriage, your health, your kids…your unfinished retreat sermon.

When I need reminded of this the most is when I think I am in control, or that I can solve my own problems. I hurry ahead, plow through, push on, and forget that God, in HIS understanding, has already worked it out without me.

And so the lost sermon was re-written. I don’t know if I wrote the same thing, or took it in a totally new direction, but I do know this: it was God’s work all along.

So too will he come into your situation and work it out for your good. Just trust, and obey.

Let This be a Sign Unto You…

Pre-Light

Posted on by Betsy

I am not a morning person, so my favorite way to watch the sunrise is catching my friend’s FaceBook posts about an hour and a half after the fact. But Sundays are a different matter, as I wake up in the dark to prepare for church. As I caffeinate, I notice the beautiful deep blue that replaces the charcoal grey as the sky prepares to welcome the sun. The pre-light of dawn is almost prettier than the sunrise itself. It is so filled with promise.

Here on the Outer Banks, we enjoy “big sky,” where you can see for miles and miles. There are no high rises, no buildings, and even no trees to obstruct your view. As a friend’s child once observed on a cruise ship, you can “see as far as your eyes can see.” When the sky changes here, it colors the entire horizon.

If you’ve ever spent a sleepless night staring out your window, you know the change that comes over your soul when day finally begins to break. Somehow the company of the sun brings a warmth with it that dispels the darkness of the spirit, and even can bring with it a sense of “maybe this isn’t so bleak” as the night dissipates and clarity comes in.

Every day is filled with promise. Every day is an opportunity to get it right, undo a wrong, make a difference, bring joy to someone, and talk to the Lord. Pre-light signals hope.

Psalm 119 (New International Version)

147 I rise before dawn and cry for help;
    I have put my hope in your word.
148 My eyes stay open through the watches of the night,
    that I may meditate on your promises.
149 Hear my voice in accordance with your love;
    preserve my life, Lord, according to your laws.
150 Those who devise wicked schemes are near,
    but they are far from your law.
151 Yet you are near, Lord,
    and all your commands are true.

The psalmist speaks into the pre-light. Having stayed awake all night to meditate on God’s promises, he rises before dawn and cries for help. Ever been there?

So often we put our hope in other things: spouses, family, neighbors, the government, friends….and with luck, these things come through for us. But putting our hope in God’s word is the only thing we can really count on to sustain us and preserve us.

God is near, and his word is always true. So next time you find yourself awake in the dark, lean on his understanding and not your own.

Arise and shine, for your light has come.

Colington Pre-Light

Coffee Maker Grace

Posted on by Betsy

I am always happy when I remember to set up the coffee maker at bedtime. I program it to turn on so that the brew will be complete a few minutes before my wake-up alarm goes off. There is nothing better than waking up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee just a few minutes before the BEEP BEEP BEEP intrudes into the quiet of the morning. It is WONDERFUL to have coffee ready before you are even awake.

This, my friends, is surely what waking up in heaven will include. Coffee angels will be ready with large mugs of fresh brew as we wake up each day, except there will be no alarm clocks in heaven. Obviously, alarm clocks belong in Hell. Of that, I have no doubt.

The smell of fresh brewed coffee reaching into your subconscious as you are climbing up through the depths of sleep to the height of wakefulness is a practical example of a Wesleyan concept known as prevenient grace. Prevenient grace is just one type of grace, joining its well known sister and brother of sanctifying grace and justifying grace.

Prevenient grace describes the activity of God that comes before. It acknowledges that God is active in our situation well before we are aware of his presence. It points to God’s ability to woo us before we even know we need him. God initiates: we respond.

Titus 2 (The Message)

11-14 God’s readiness to give and forgive is now public. Salvation’s available for everyone! We’re being shown how to turn our backs on a godless, indulgent life, and how to take on a God-filled, God-honoring life. This new life is starting right now, and is whetting our appetites for the glorious day when our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, appears. He offered himself as a sacrifice to free us from a dark, rebellious life into this good, pure life, making us a people he can be proud of, energetic in goodness.

God’s readiness is understood as God going before us, to show us the way to salvation. By his prevenient grace, he offers us a way to a God-honoring life that frees us from the darkness. He woos us to a good, pure life that starts right now because he is ready. He draws us to himself while we are still stumbling around getting a shoe stuck in the muck and mire of sin. And there is nothing we can do to earn this: grace is God’s unmerited love and acceptance. Our job is just to respond.

How are you living out prevenient grace in your life? Can you cite examples of times and places where you became aware of God’s presence, and realized that he was there before you knew you needed him? Knowing that grace comes equally as an unwarranted gift to everyone, does this encourage you to be less judgmental of other people’s transgressions?

God woos us to his side every day. He goes before every trial, tribulation, and tragedy, and waits for us to acknowledge him. He is active in our lives at every moment: all we need to do is look for him, and we will find that he is already there.

Maybe it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee.

The Best Part of Waking Up. Photo courtesy of Midway UMC, Cumming, GA

I SAID dNO!

Posted on by Betsy

Nora Jean is one feisty chick. She comes by it honestly, as she is the progeny of a whole line of feisty chicks. Take her grandmothers, for instance. A super-energized nurse who raised three kids while her husband flew for the Navy, and then the airlines. The other grandmother is a super-energized chick pastor, who raised two kids while her husband flew for the Navy, and then the airlines. (That is not a typo. Both grandfathers are Navy/Airline pilots. Imagine the odds of THAT happening!)

And then there is her mother, the feistiest of the feisty-clan. SHE kicked cancer, danced in a 46-hour marathon 9 months after her last chemo, got two degrees, and is raising three kids while her husband flies for the Navy….oh Nora Jean, you are surrounded.

So it is absolutely no surprise that at age two, Nora J can express herself with great clarity. They took her and her less-feisty brothers to a restaurant called The T-Rex Cafe. T-Rex is a bigger-than-life venue of pre-historic trees and vines, loud animal noises, dark spaces, and oh, yes…a ginormous T-Rex and his friends. Nope, said Nora. Nope, nope, nope, and if you didn’t get my meaning, let my shrieking do the talkin’. So without even sitting down, they exited.

Oh, but wait! Nearby is the much gentler Rain Forest Cafe, with quiet waterfalls, monkey sounds, and lush foliage. So in they went, and out they came. The same dark, immersive environment was also not to Nora’s liking, and the volume of nonononononono was actually heard in the gift shop next door.

As her mother took her outside to see if a little explanation and cajoling might help, Nora took her mother’s face in her hands, looked her in the eye, and said, “I SAID dNO.”

Matthew 5 (The Message)

33-37 “And don’t say anything you don’t mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, ‘I’ll pray for you,’ and never doing it, or saying, ‘God be with you,’ and not meaning it. You don’t make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true.

Just say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong.

Let your yes be yes and your no be no, like a boss two-year-old!

It is interesting to see how The Message applies this to religious talk. How many times do you say to someone, “I will pray for you,” and then never do? Peterson calls that “religious lace.” In other words, we can see right through it. Worse, so can God.

I think there is a lot of smoke-screen-religious-speech happening right now. I would hazard a guess that there has always been a lot of it, if Jesus was addressing it over 2,000 years ago, calling it an issue that is “embedded deep in our traditions.“

We should strive for clear, accurate communication that is free of manipulative words that we use just to get our own way. Let us stick with the truth, and stop trying to making ourselves sound more religious with unnecessary embellishments. God calls us to mean what we say, and say what we mean.

Let your dNO be dNO.

My dNO means dNO.

Surf Fishing

Posted on by Betsy

Surf fishing is a very popular sport on the Outer Banks. Our entire coastline provides numerous spots that are perfect for this. Wherever you go on the beach, you are likely to run into a surf fisherman. I am a beach walker, so I know to carefully look for the sun’s reflection on their lines and walk under or behind them. It would be counterproductive to decapitate myself whilst trying to get in shape.

The beauty of surf fishing is that you can simply walk to your fishing spot. No boats, nets, piers, or docks required. Take off your shoes and cast your line! Of course the challenge is the surf itself. Negotiating the waves and the unknown depths of the water just beyond the break are part of the fun. More than once I have watched someone excitedly reeling in a fish while walking into the waves, only to hit the underwater drop-off and submerge up to their chest. By the way, the fish love it when that happens.

Surf fishing also requires a fair amount of “situational awareness,” especially as you cast. Always look around you, and especially behind you! Nobody wants to hook a sunbather in the eye. Or the bikini top.

Jesus knew a lot about fishing.

Mark 1 (The Message)

16-18 Passing along the beach of Lake Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew net-fishing. Fishing was their regular work. Jesus said to them, “Come with me. I’ll make a new kind of fisherman out of you. I’ll show you how to catch men and women instead of perch and bass.” They didn’t ask questions. They dropped their nets and followed.

19-20 A dozen yards or so down the beach, he saw the brothers James and John, Zebedee’s sons. They were in the boat, mending their fishnets. Right off, he made the same offer. Immediately, they left their father Zebedee, the boat, and the hired hands, and followed.

So, had you realized that surf fishing is in the Bible?? Simon and Andrew were net-fishing from the beach. James and John were in a boat. All were given the instruction to leave their work and follow Jesus. The new job would be to fish for people.

Fishing for people also requires a kind of “situational awareness.” How ready is this person to hear the Gospel? What is the best approach? What do they need…a testimony, or a sandwich? What would communicate God’s love best?

You are also called to people-fish. Dropping the net you are currently holding is the best way to approach this new task. How can God use your abilities, resources, and personality to spread a word of hope, acceptance, and love?

Jesus calls us to follow him. May we be like the disciples and drop what we’re doing, leave everything behind, and immediately respond. You never know what you’ll catch.

Sunrise Surf Fishermen by Michelle Robertson

Keeping Up Appearances

Posted on by Betsy

I am obsessed with a writer named Malcolm Gladwell. His recent book “Blink” is a fantastic study on how people make assessments based on first impressions, and how unconscious impressions can guide our thinking. The book is about “the power of thinking without thinking.”

In his book, he describes a time when the classical music world realized their system for auditioning musicians by having them play live before a judging panel was biased. While they thought that their assessment of the musician seated before them was fair, their first impression of that person was deeply informed by his or her appearance. As a result, most of the acclaimed symphony orchestras were made up of white men, which, by the way, was also the demographic of the judging panels.

So thirty years ago they started a practice of doing live auditions behind a screen, and something remarkable happened…the number of women in the top U.S. orchestras has increased fivefold. When factors like outward appearance and unconscious prejudice were removed, only pure ability was considered. Gladwell tells this story of one female French horn player: 

When Julie Landsman auditioned for the role of principal French horn at the Met, the screens had just gone up in the practice hall. At the time, there were no women in the brass section of the orchestra, because everyone “knew” that women could not play the horn as well as men. But Landsman came and sat down and played—and she played well. “I knew in my last round that I had won before they told me,” she says. “It was because of the way I performed the last piece. I held on to the last high C for a very long time, just to leave no doubt in their minds. And they started to laugh, because it was above and beyond the call of duty.” But when they declared her the winner and she stepped out from behind the screen, there was a gasp. It wasn’t just that she was a woman…. And it wasn’t just the bold high C, which was the kind of macho sound that they expected from a man only. It was because they knew her. Landsman had played for the Met as a substitute. Until they listened to her with just their ears, however, they had no idea she was so good.

The power of thinking without thinking is a natural and human thing. We all make instant assessments based on first impressions that inform how we will respond to someone. But that can be unfair.

Ever wonder if this is the way God sees us? I think not. God doesn’t take into account our outward facades, but instead looks directly into our hearts:

1 Samuel 16 (The Message)

7 But God told Samuel, “Looks aren’t everything. Don’t be impressed with his looks and stature. I’ve already eliminated him. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart.”

I think part of our spiritual journey is to try to become more like the Lord and less like ourselves every day. To see people as God sees people takes a lot of intentional focus. No longer should we see the dirty homeless person, the office drunk, the struggling transgender teenager, the adulterer, the bully, but rather we should try to see them the way God sees them. We look at the outside: God looks into the heart. What HE sees there is his business. What we should see are the many children of God on every spectrum of life, worthy of God’s love…and ours.

So when you see someone today who is different, marginalized, angry, distant, etc. try to imagine what God sees, and treat them accordingly. After all, the face we put on every morning may not reflect who we are, either. Yet God loves us still.

So should we love one another.

Mirrored Sky by Wende Pritchard

Star Counter

Posted on by Betsy

Sometimes when my problems feel overwhelmingly big, I try to remember that there are much bigger things:

God’s love for me

God’s prevenient grace

God’s ability to carry my burden

God’s willingness to fix me

God’s creation around me

God’s warrior skills.

Living at the beach provides a constant reminder of how small we are. I stand at the edge of the ocean and watch its power. The waves follow one after the other, the sun sets, and the moon pulls the tide. I have nothing to do with that. Yet I live my life as though I am in control.

The ocean teaches me that it is a fool’s errand to think such things. The water moves on its own accord, set into motion by the God of creation. The beauty around me reminds me that every trial, every tragedy, every misstep, every betrayal, and every hardship we will ever know is smaller than the one who not only counts the stars, but KNOWS THEM BY NAME.

Psalm 147 (New King James Version)

Praise the Lord!
For it is good to sing praises to our God;
For it is pleasant, and praise is beautiful.

2 The Lord builds up Jerusalem;
He gathers together the outcasts of Israel.
3 He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.

4 He counts the number of the stars;
He calls them all by name.

5 Great is our Lord, and mighty in power;
His understanding is infinite.
6 The Lord lifts up the humble;
He casts the wicked down to the ground.

7 Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving;
Sing praises on the harp to our God,
8 Who covers the heavens with clouds,
Who prepares rain for the earth,
Who makes grass to grow on the mountains.

What does that say to you today? If he knows the name of every star, surely he knows yours. And the name of your enemy. And the name of your battle. And the names of your family. Listen, he even knows your cat’s name.

If knowing the names of the stars matters to God, how much more do you matter to him? His understanding is infinite. He is mighty in power. In the smallness of our mess, God steps in and binds up wounds and heals the brokenhearted.

Whatever you’ve got today, know this: God’s got you. Whatever is defeating you, remember that God has already won your battle. Whatever is making you feel hopeless, turn to God, who created the universe and is your HOPE.

So sing praise in your darkness, and lift high the name of the Lord in your brokenness. Humble yourself before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Photo courtesy of NASA/Hubble Space Telescope