Author: Betsy

Safe Harbour

Posted on by Betsy

Hurricane Erin is making her presence known along the Outer Banks today. Two days ago, visitors had to evacuate Hatteras Island for fear of high waves and ocean over wash that will make roads impassable for days. While a direct hit is not forecasted, any storm system off our waters creates hazardous conditions for us here on this fragile strip of land. It is often in these times that we see our communities pull together to help one another as we collectively seek safe harbor.

I had an unusual opportunity to offer safety to a total stranger on Monday. A post on our local Colington Harbour Facebook page asked for a safe dock for a large catamaran sailboat that was currently traveling from Annapolis to Hatteras. The decision was made to pull into Colington for the duration of the storm, and the sailor was looking for a place to tie up for a few days. I happen to have a large unused dock, so I quickly offered it. In less than an hour, this beautiful boat was safely secured to my dock. It gave me great joy to share my blessing with them. I too have known the need for safe harbor in my life.

Today’s reading is from Psalm 107. I hope you will take a moment to read it in its entirety today. This beautiful psalm was probably written during or just after the Babylonian exile, when a grateful people were able to return to Israel. It describes four different scenarios of deliverance, from being lost in the wilderness, to those who are imprisoned, to those sick and near death, and finally from those enduring dangerous seas. It is this portion that we will consider today.

Psalm 107 ( Common English Bible)

Some of the redeemed had gone out on the ocean in ships,
    making their living on the high seas.
24 They saw what the Lord had made;
    they saw his wondrous works in the depths of the sea.
25 God spoke and stirred up a storm
    that brought the waves up high.
26 The waves went as high as the sky;
    they crashed down to the depths.
The sailors’ courage melted at this terrible situation.
27     They staggered and stumbled around like they were drunk.
    None of their skill was of any help.
28 So they cried out to the Lord in their distress,
    and God brought them out safe from their desperate circumstances.
29 God quieted the storm to a whisper;
    the sea’s waves were hushed.
30 So they rejoiced because the waves had calmed down;
    then God led them to the harbor they were hoping for.
31 Let them thank the Lord for his faithful love
    and his wondrous works for all people.
32 Let them exalt God in the congregation of the people
    and praise God in the assembly of the elders.

Surely this psalm is a great reminder today of God’s faithful love for us. When we cry out to him in a storm, he hears us and rushes to our side. Even in those moments when the ginormous waves threaten to overcome us, God is our safe harbor. Jesus literally commanded with waves and the winds to be still, and he can command the storm of your life to release you if you cry out to him. Are you in desperate circumstances today? God is your safe harbor.

This psalm ends with a reminder to give thanks to our deliverer. Offering God our gratitude for his interventions in our lives is how this story ends. How does your story end? Has God delivered you? Are you still waiting? Give thanks.

Safe Harbour

Defensive Wounds

Posted on by Betsy

Are you intrigued by forensic science? I am. I blame Brit Box and years of too much CSI for my fascination about forensic science. My affection for writer Patricia Cornwell feeds this addiction as well. This branch of investigative police work is amazing in its ability to solve crimes, reveal the truth, and allow the dead to speak for themselves. Body temperature, wound size and angles, and something called defensive wounds tell the tale of how the decedent met their end in no uncertain terms. Defensive wounds are injuries the person sustained while defending themself against the attacker. They can provided needed evidence such as skin under the fingernails that can reveal the DNA of the assailant and prove that the incident wasn’t just an accident. Defensive wounds speak the truth.

I thought about defensive wounds the other day during a counseling session with a church member. She sat on the couch and described many years of painful interactions with a family member whom she deeply loves. They have both been hurt by other family members, and it was obvious that the one that she loves has turned that hurt into attacks against my church member. The reason is clear: This woman is a safe place for all of her loved one’s pain. Unconditional love can come at that cost. The wounds she carries after years of this are a type of defensive wound. She is scarred by multiple attacks and bruised by her attempts to continually fight off and defend herself against her beloved attacker.

You know, Jesus carried defensive wounds as well. He was defending you.

Isaiah 53 (New International Version)
Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed.
6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
    each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
    the iniquity of us all.

Isaiah’s prophecy of a saving messiah was fulfilled on the cross. There, Jesus willingly suffered the piercing of his hands and feet and the gouging of his side by a sword for our sins. He suffered and suffocated so that the pain of sin that we bear might be borne on him so that we might live. Our iniquity left its mark, and his defensive wounds on our behalf bought us eternal life. That’s what unconditional love can do.

At the end of our counseling session we both felt that by listening to and acknowledging the pain that has prompted all the attacks, the loved one may eventually find peace. Rather than continuing to defend and explain herself, my church member will try with God’s help to become a sanctuary for pain rather than its target. Knowing that Jesus walked that lonely valley before gives her strength.

How about you? Are you suffering with your own defensive wounds? It is time to simply listen rather than justify and explain? Have you borne the iniquity of your situation long enough?

Jesus understands. May the peace he bought on the cross for you be yours today and always.

Fresh Air by Kathy Weeks

Loving Unlovables

Posted on by Betsy

A friend recently shared a problem she is having with a family member. After recounting several upsetting incidents that have occurred over the course of many years, she looked across the dinner table and said, “I know I should be praying for her, because we’re supposed to pray for our enemies, but frankly, I think I’d rather cut off my arm!” We collapsed into a fit of giggles that embarrassed our husbands and then tackled the issues of 1. how difficult it is to pray for people who have been deliberately hurtful to us, and 2. the difficulty of trying to wash your hair or fold a fitted bed sheet with only one arm. I can’t do it with two.

Let’s take a look at that scripture in its entirety and see if we can’t find a way to comply with one of Jesus’ harder commandments, and help my friend keep her arm intact:

Matthew 5:43-48 (New International Version )

Love for Enemies

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

In the broader context, Jesus is making an imprint on his new and very radical theology of how the people of God are to behave. From the first sentence, he is righting the wrong of the old way, by reversing how we are to treat enemies. Love, not hate, is the new way.

But the point of this radicalism comes in the next sentence: pray for those who persecute you so that YOU may be children of your Father in heaven. Did you notice that the instruction to pray is not so that your enemy might be changed? No indeed, the point of this prayer is so that YOU might be changed.

God brings the warmth of the sun and the replenishing rains to provide for the good and the evil alike. This is a reminder to us that God sees potential for change in everyone. He has always been in the saving and transformation business. How easy it would be for him to simply cast out the unrighteous, but instead he includes them into his kingdom by holding the door of repentance wide open.

Being good to your friends and hanging out with your own kind is something non-believers do with great ease. There has to be a difference between those who follow Christ and those who don’t. So what Jesus is saying here is that we are not to be like others around us, but we are to be like him in everything we do. We are called to love unconditionally, forgive without hesitation, encourage and build one another up, and be patient and long-suffering when need be.

I shared with my friend that I had a person who was extremely critical of me, and publicly so, at the very beginning of my ministry. Her words and her actions were devastating and caused me great pain. I confided to an elder church member about it, and he calmly reminded me to “pray for my enemies.” And so I did, for three solid years. I prayed she would be blessed, whole, and healthy. Some days I prayed that I wouldn’t see her at church, because every time I saw her, I had to greet her with a kindness I didn’t always feel. Other days I prayed she would receive me differently, and that maybe we would someday be friends. I just prayed.

One day we found each other in the church on a Saturday when volunteers had gathered to do some work. She was on a ladder and saw me walking down the aisle of the sanctuary. She called out to me and asked if we could talk. In tears, she asked me to forgive her for those words she had spoken many years ago and told me how much she appreciated that I had been civil to her even though she had hurt me.

I told her that I had forgiven her a long time ago, and as those words came out of my mouth, I realized that in all of those years of “praying for my enemy,” my prayers hadn’t changed the situation, but it definitely changed ME.

Prayer changes us. Prayer opens us, helps us to let go of stuff, reminds us that the stuff is really God’s anyway, and allows us to be the face of Jesus to the enemy. My friend may never have reconciliation with her family member, but by praying without ceasing for them, she is sure to receive peace and release.

And keep her arm.

Peace and Release by Kathy Schumacher

Control Your Rudder

Posted on by Betsy

The beautiful majesty of sailboats heading out to the Albemarle Sound is a pleasure we get to experience every Wednesday night in Colington Harbour. At 6:00PM we see sailboats from every canal making their way to the harbor and circle up until all are gathered. It is a stunning sight, one which I can see from my westward-facing deck. I’ll never forget the first week we lived here. I was washing dishes and looking out the eastward-facing window when suddenly I saw a huge “pole” moving behind the houses across the street. For a brief moment I had a “War of the Worlds” flashback and imagined that this was the first landing of some kind of alien invasion. It turned out to be the mast of a large, fast-moving sailboat that was going to the weekly community sail. What a relief!

Check out what James has to say about sail boats:

James 3 (New International Version )

Taming the Tongue

3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

Yikes! Your tongue is a rudder with the potential to steer you wrong. It’s a world of evil! So wrong, it might corrupt your whole body, set your life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. That’s quite the wakeup call this morning.

That is enough to make you want to just stop talking. For some of us, that would actually be a great idea.

How many times have you wished you hadn’t said something? How often do you wish you could just take something back? Do words of anger bring hours/days/years of regret? Do you dwell in the remorse of knowing your judgmental words brought pain and shame on someone you love?

Well then, shut up.

Seriously. Shut up. The reason God gave us twice as many ears as a mouth is so that we would listen twice as hard and speak half as often. If you were to be honest, wouldn’t you like to go back to some (many) points of time and simply choose not to respond instead of spouting off at someone?

Last week I talked with a woman who would give anything to go back in time and choose to shut up rather than spew out. The incident she was recounting was one where she “flew off the handle” and said things she can never take back. It escalated to include many more people and has compromised her integrity. She is now dealing with the aftershocks of her words. Another woman regrets her harsh appraisal of her teenage daughter, fearing that her judgment has propelled her child into an unhealthy situation.

If only we could take it all back. If only we would use our “rudder” appropriately. If only we would learn to shut up.

Today’s scripture challenges us to speak less and listen with our two ears to that inner voice that is warning us to not say something. God invites us to listen carefully to what others are saying and resist the urge to respond with anything that is not loving, uplifting, kind, useful, and encouraging. And if that isn’t possible to do, then simply choose to shut up, smile and nod.

You will never regret the harsh thing you didn’t say. Sail on and use that rudder wisely.

Sunset Sail to the Sound

Root Mats

Posted on by Betsy

Sand dunes grow. They are a complex, living infrastructure of sand, water, vegetation, and wind. Along the Outer Banks, the dunes protect the inner parts of the island from the encroaching seas. We boast of having the largest sand dune on the East Coast here in Nags Head, called Jockey’s Ridge. This massive, moving dune is so big, it has swallowed up a mini-golf course in its eastward trajectory.

The Outer Banks beaches have undergone extensive beach nourishment along our coastline. Erosion, seas and winds have threatened our beaches for decades, and so our towns have responded with a nourishment program that effectively extended the beach by pumping off-shore sand onto the shoreline.

The Baby Dune effort began in hopes of stabilizing the protective dunes. Baby dunes are intentionally planted with vegetation such as sea oats, hearty grasses, and dense patches of dune mats that take root and hold the dune together. If the vegetation is damaged, the dune will fail, the water will breach, and roads and homes are affected. 

The most threatening thing to baby dune growth is people. People ignore the “Keep Off” signs and walk over the dune rather than go a few hundred yards away to a groomed beach access. Beach goers, not wind, are the biggest threat to the stability of this fragile ecosystem. 

Colossians 2 (The Message)

My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you’ve been given. You have received Christ Jesus, the Master. Now LIVE him. You’re deeply rooted in him. You’re constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you’ve been taught. School’s out; quit studying the subject and start LIVING it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving. 

This passage talks about taking root in Christ. One of the interesting things about the dune grasses and vegetation mats is that their roots aren’t exceptionally deep, but they spread over the top of the dune and provide anchoring to the top layer of sand. Their extensive system of creeping underground stems keeps the dune intact in the winds.

Much in the same way, rooting ourselves in Christ protects our lives and keeps us intact when the winds of change begin to blow hard. In the midst of adversities, when in the blink of an eye something changes, those matted, secure roots of faith, fellowship, meditation, prayer, worship, and Scripture reading can provide resistance.

A friend of mine suddenly lost her mother last week. The death was unexpected and has caught the family terribly off guard. As she is slowly negotiating her new reality, it is her roots in Christ and the interconnected family around her that is keeping her together right now. Another friend is struggling with her spouse’s addiction. The vegetation mat of hope, help, and knowing she is not alone is keeping her strong in her storm.

I don’t know what kind of figurative or literal hurricane you are going through this morning but hear this: You are meant to just go ahead with what you’ve been given. You are meant to receive all that Christ died to give you. You are well constructed on him, and no wind of change, no matter how strong, is going to blow you over. Now do what you’ve been taught! Stay strong, stand firm, and let your living spill over into thanksgiving, even in the storm.

God’s got you…and he will never let go.

Sea Grass by Michelle Robertson

Give Me Patience

Posted on by Betsy

Six and a half hours into the five hour drive, I realized that my four-year-old grandson had asked me, “Are we there yet?” at least a dozen times. I could sympathize. That is a long time to be stuck incarcerated in seatbelt, much less a car seat with an over the shoulders harness. Having no real sense of time or distance yet, it surely was frustrating for him.

Finally I figured out a way to slow down the questions. The next time (approximately 3 minutes later) he asked, I said, “Look out your window. Do you see your house?” He would crane his head around both sides of his car seat and answer, “No, Nana! I don’t see my house!” And I would say, “Well, there’s your answer!”

Patience. It is a difficult thing to teach a child, especially when we’ve lost it ourselves. I have often confessed that my favorite prayer is, “Lord, give me patience. AND GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW.”

James 5 counsels patience to an impatient world:

James 5:7-11

7 Therefore, brothers and sisters, you must be patient as you wait for the coming of the Lord. Consider the farmer who waits patiently for the coming of rain in the fall and spring, looking forward to the precious fruit of the earth. 8 You also must wait patiently, strengthening your resolve, because the coming of the Lord is near. 9 Don’t complain about each other, brothers and sisters, so that you won’t be judged. Look! The judge is standing at the door!

10 Brothers and sisters, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord as an example of patient resolve and steadfastness.11 Look at how we honor those who have practiced endurance. You have heard of the endurance of Job. And you have seen what the Lord has accomplished, for the Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

I wonder how much we actually think about the coming of the Lord. Jesus has promised to return, and his Second Coming will usher in a new rule, a new world, and a new Kingdom on earth. But we walk around so consumed with our daily chores and burdens, we forget to anticipate that his return might be any day now.

We’re not home just yet.

Impatience is a distractor that basically has no purpose. It doesn’t produce much beyond frustration, lack of focus, anger, and a feeling of annoyance. When children get impatient, we try to just distract them long enough for the thing to transpire. But as adults, we give into impatience and turn waiting into seething and seething into action. We take the matter into our own hands when we should have left well enough alone.

James encourages us to stay steady and strong. He reminds us that those who have staying power and have endurance will discover that God is working to bring it all together for us in the end, just as he did for the old prophet mentors.

What are you pushing hard at right now? We often try to rush and hurry things that are better left to develop and grow on their own. A child who is slow to learn, an idea you are trying to promote, a marriage that has lost its charm, a dream you can’t wait to realize, a purchase you can’t afford without a credit card … life moves slowly at times, and we impatiently force things that we shouldn’t.

James instructs us today to allow things to mature and be realized in their own time. God will bring rain that will do its slow but sure work to whatever it is you are trying to handle on your own. The farmer knows to wait. Be patient like that, and before you know it, you will be home.

The Farmer Waits by Becca Ziegler

Take it Off

Posted on by Betsy

A recent Sunday at my church was a day filled with lots of children’s events, thus bringing out lots of children. As I waited by the back door, three kids ran past me to get to the sanctuary. They were from different families, and all three were shoeless.

I have adjusted to acolytes in flip flops, a common sight in my church but not common elsewhere. I love our laid back Outer Banks style. I love comfortable footwear on 10 year olds carrying the candlelighter with the seriousness of a welder powering up his flame. I especially love happy, shoeless kids running through the sanctuary to take their seat and wait for the fun to begin. I was two seconds away from taking off my own heeled pumps when I had a last minute “maybe-that’s-not-appropriate” thought flash through my mind.

Or is it?

I think the shoeless kids feel some kind of connection to the idea of “special, set apart and sacred” and want to have full physical contact with that holy ground that is the sanctuary. The joy of running on the old, worn, red carpet in a place that feels homey and safe is a delight to behold. Maybe we should all take off our shoes! Moses did:

Exodus 3 (Contemporary English Version)

God Speaks to Moses

3 One day, Moses was taking care of the sheep and goats of his father-in-law Jethro, the priest of Midian, and Moses decided to lead them across the desert to Sinai,[a] the holy mountain. 2 There an angel of the Lord appeared to him from a burning bush. Moses saw that the bush was on fire, but it was not burning up. 3 “This is strange!” he said to himself. “I’ll go over and see why the bush isn’t burning up.”

4 When the Lord saw Moses coming near the bush, he called him by name, and Moses answered, “Here I am.”

5 God replied, “Don’t come any closer. Take off your sandals—the ground where you are standing is holy. 6 I am the God who was worshiped by your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.”

Moses was afraid to look at God, and so he hid his face.

Why the command to take off his shoes? Perhaps it was a way to warm Moses up for the BIG ASK that God was about to deliver. God would tell Moses that he was to go from that place at Mt. Sinai to confront Pharaoh and demand he set his people free from slavery in Egypt. Taking off his shoes was a reminder to Moses that God’s presence had made this place holy ground. Middle eastern tradition required the removal of one’s shoes before entering houses and temples, and so God was asking Moses to humble himself before both God and his plan. The shoes that bore the contaminants and dirt of the non-sacred places were to be set aside so that God could deal with him in a pure and vulnerable state.

This is what the children innately understand. Their purity and vulnerability are a sign to the big folks that we should emotionally and spiritually take off our shoes and garments and stand soul-naked each time we enter God’s presence. All of the fakery, the conceit, the embellishments, and the hypocrisy need to fall away before God can be encountered. When we submit to this stripping down of our facades, God can finally reveal his presence and plan to us.

What do you need to “take off” so that God can reveal your next step to you? What accessories are you hiding behind that block you from entering into God’s presence fully and humbly? Are there conceits that have you so conceited that the humble, holy ground has no appeal to you? Are you trotting around in shoes covered with the contaminants and dirt of the non-sacred places you frequent? Lay it down. Let it go. Take off your shoes and get over yourself.

God calls us to his Holy Ground today. Let us run barefoot into his presence and be ready to receive whatever he has planned for us.

Mykonos Holy Ground-A private family chapel.

Pump, Pump, Pump

Posted on by Betsy

Do you believe in the power of prayer? I was recently in a situation that served as a beautiful reminder of what happens when “two or more are gathered in my name.” Take a look at how Eugene Peterson translates Jesus’ words from Matthew:

Matthew 20 (The Message)

18-20 “Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this. When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I’ll be there.”

I got to see this first hand a few months ago when I witnessed a man literally come back to life in the parking lot of a strip shopping center where I get my hair cut. It was a horrible, shocking, and miraculous moment. I was pulling into the parking lot and scanning for places to park, looking right and left, when I spotted an open place to my right. As I slowed down to pull into it, I was horrified to see an elderly man lying on the asphalt being given CPR by a young woman and a young man. He looked dead. His skin was a sickening ashen gray, and I could see no movement in his face or body other than the pump, pump, pump of the bystanders’ hands on his chest.

Along the sidewalk I spotted two women who were crying as they watched. I assumed that one was his wife, so I parked my car and approached her. I am a volunteer chaplain for the Southern Shores Fire Department and our role in moments of crisis is to offer prayer and comfort to the family.

I approached the woman and asked her if she was okay. She was surprised at my question and responded “no” in a shaky voice. I asked her if the man was a family member and was surprised when she said no again. It turned out that the two women worked in the store where the man had just been shopping and watched him as he fell out of the open door of his truck onto the pavement. 911 had been called but the two people who were rendering CPR were just passersby who had sprung into action. I was amazed at how well coordinated their movements were, counting loudly and switching off with ease. It turned out that one of them had been an OBX lifeguard for many years. Her incredible training kicked right in. The other had taken CPR classes at his workplace.

I began to pray and watched and waited. Because I had arrived early on the scene, I stood on the sidewalk near the man’s head and prayed loud enough for him to hear me, if he could.

As the fire department, police, and ambulance pulled into the small lot, the two people stepped aside and the first responders took over with the practiced ballet of well-rehearsed movements and calm urgency. Every time they stopped to check for a heartbeat, the results were the same: Unresponsive. They continued their efforts doing manual CPR and then switched to a CPR machine called a Lund University Cardiopulmonary Assist System (LUCAS) that was extremely powerful and absolutely frightening to watch. A metal bracket of sorts was placed over the man’s chest and a metal arm that ended in what looked like a large suction cup pushed down from the center and pumped the chest forcefully and rhythmically, encouraging the heart to restart.

I felt a strong urge to minister to those standing by watching this tragic scene, so I went around and told people I was a fire department chaplain and asked if they would like to join me in prayer. To my surprise, everyone said yes, so I formed us into a circle where we held hands and prayed aloud. The paramedics continued to work aggressively as they tried to get his heart restarted, and a timeline was established. At this point he had been down for close to 20 minutes.

Finally he was transferred to a gurney, and a covering was placed over his head while CPR was continued. The machine was removed, and a pulse and breathing check was performed while an EMT continued with manual CPR. I honestly don’t think anyone thought that he would pull through at this point.

And then it happened. He had a pulse and was breathing again. The relief and jubilation of the crowd was palpable. One of the store owners had gone back into her shop to sit down because she was so upset. I found her crying in the back of the store and we laughed and hugged when I shared the good news that the man was breathing. She told me that she was sure it was all that praying that did it, and I did not disagree.

Yesterday I got my hair cut and my hairdresser, who had been there that day, told me that the man and his wife recently returned to the store where he collapsed and, other than broken ribs from the CPR, he has made a full recovery.

That’s what prayer can do. A yes on earth can move the soul and the heart of God to give a yes in heaven, especially when two or three gather in the name of Jesus to intercede for the life of a dead stranger. Our prayers were loud and unceasing, like the pump, pump, pump of the CPR machine.

There is exponential power in the prayer of agreement. God is pleased to see his children praying in concert with and for one another, aligning their hearts and petitions in harmonious oneness that conveys their trust, faith, and hope that God will hear and respond.

Do you regularly pray with others? Do you have a prayer partner, belong to a prayer group, or attend prayer gatherings? Remember that when even as few as two pray together, God is there.

You wouldn’t want to miss that, would you?

Radiant Life by Rebecca Ziegler

Church Clothes

Posted on by Betsy

Consider the history of the necktie. Legionnaires in the 2nd century B.C. wore the first neckwear, according to some historians. Their cloth bands were worn as protection from the weather. Other people cite the 3rd century B.C. terra-cotta statues of Chinese warriors as the first evidence of neckties. They wore neck scarves to protect the source of their strength, i.e. their Adam’s apples.

Most experts, however, date the initial appearance of what led to the modern tie back to 1636. Croatian mercenaries hired by King Louis XIV wore cloth bands around their necks to ward off natural elements and sword slashes.

Today, however, men don’t need to protect themselves from weather, assaults to their Adam’s apples, and hopefully not sword slashes. So why the tie? Many men find them uncomfortable and bothersome. Loosening the tie is often the first thing a fellow does the minute he leaves the office. I mean, even the word neck-tie sounds restrictive.

Neckties are a means of uniformity. Imagine the workplace of the 1960’s without men in neckties. Imagine the church of the 1990’s without men in neckties. Uniformity was the goal, and neckties were the instrument that tied it all together. Blessed be the tie that binds? Not when it is tied around the neck!

Thank God we are over that.

Ties, hats, gloves, and heels have faded away as mandatory “Sunday morning best.” Society has accepted the fact that it is so much more important to show up than to show off.

So with neckties out, what should we wear around our necks?

Proverbs 3 New Living Translation (NLT)

3  My child, never forget the things I have taught you.

    Store my commands in your heart.

2  If you do this, you will live many years,

    and your life will be satisfying.

3  Never let loyalty and kindness leave you!

    Tie them around your neck as a reminder.

    Write them deep within your heart.

4  Then you will find favor with both God and people,

    and you will earn a good reputation.

Loyalty and kindness. The perfect neckwear for any occasion! This type of necktie will help you find favor with God and people alike. When we tie the things God has taught us around our necks, we will have a satisfying life and a good reputation. Now that’s a necktie everyone should have in their closet.

I once had a conversation with a teenager about church clothes. Michael was the son of the school bus driver and never attended church. I knew him from the High School marching band, where I volunteered as a chaperone and band announcer. All the kids knew me, but most didn’t know I am a pastor. Michael had spent the weekend at Taylor’s house, and when they awoke on Sunday morning, Taylor’s mom called them to breakfast and told them what time to be ready for church.

When Michael arrived, he looked around at all the people dressed up for church, and all the men wearing ties. He found me and immediately came up to me. “Miss Betsy, I am so sorry to be wearing my band t-shirt and jeans in your church,” he said. “I spent the night at Taylor’s house and my Mom didn’t know we would be coming to church so I didn’t pack any church clothes.”

I looked him in the eye and asked, “Michael, are you in a church?” He replied, “Yes, Ma’am.” I said, “And are you wearing clothes?” He laughed and said, “Yes, Ma’am.” I smiled and said, “Then you’re obviously wearing church clothes, so have a seat.”

The Gospel is a message of freedom, not restriction. Church is a place of harmony, not uniformity. Come on in and find a seat! We’re just glad you’re here. There is no dress code in God’s house. In my church at the beach, the acolytes wear flip flops, and the pastor never wears a tie. Got clothes? Come on in.

No Dress Code by Kitty Hawk United Methodist Church

Breaking Through Darkness

Posted on by Betsy

A dear friend is going through a pretty mean divorce, and the constant wrestling with her husband over the children’s schedules, whose turn it is to have them, and other parenting issues are really wearing her down. He is constantly pulling the rug out from under her, so that she never quite knows whether she is coming or going. His latest trick is to change arrangements by text minutes before an appointed time. She is worn out.

She has tried to be upbeat and positive through it all, and to accommodate him as much as possible. Their children love and need their dad, and she works hard to ensure that they have regular access to him. When he has asked for more time, or needed to switch to a different time, she has gladly given it. But after describing yet another very tense interaction with him, when he refused to take the kids as prearranged in order to get back at her for some imagined offense, she looked at her hands in her lap and said, “It is getting so hard to be a light in this darkness.”

We know we are called to be the light. Jesus came to be the light of the world, and we are called to reflect that light into the darkness of our surroundings:

Matthew 5 (New International Version)

14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.

16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

In over 25 years of counseling, I have noticed a certain myopia that comes over people when a relationship breaks apart. The daily hurts and struggles, the shock of I do’s turning into I don’t, I can’t, and I won’t, and the sheer energy drain that it puts on people is exhausting. Folks in the midst of this often get lost in the daily battles and can’t see the long view.

When something like this comes into your life, it is important to keep your eyes looking upward and outward. There you will find Jesus looking straight back at you. His word assures us that he will never leave us or forsake us, even to the ends of the earth. It is also important to not lose sight of who you are, which is so easy when you are being pushed and shoved at every turn. Regardless of what the other person is doing, remember who you are, and whose you are. You are the Lord’s beloved. You will get through this, with God’s help.

My friend is a light. She is radiant, and glows with joy and the delight of the Lord. I know that she will get through this, and by remaining true to the God who created her, she will retain her sense of self even when darkness tries to invade.

Are you in the middle of a battle? Do you feel as though the darkness has taken away your shine? Are you losing yourself? Take heart. Stay focused on God’s commandments, his blessings, and his light. Sunrise breaks through the darkness for good people. Grace, mercy, and justice will come.

Psalm 112 The Message (MSG)

1-10 Hallelujah!

Blessed man, blessed woman, who fear God,

Who cherish and relish his commandments,

Their children robust on the earth,

And the homes of the upright—how blessed!

Their houses brim with wealth

And a generosity that never runs dry.

Sunrise breaks through the darkness for good people—

God’s grace and mercy and justice!

Light’s Night Path by Kathy Schumacher